If you could only see
by IrisstoneHPfan
Summary: "you wanna know what i think?" James asked me suddenly. "Nope." I answered. He rolled his eyes but continued anyways. "I think love is a rare thing to find in this world, and if you think you could have it with this girl, then fuck whoever tries to stop you, and don't let anybody stand in your way ..." ...Sirius/OC rated M for language and future chapters.
1. Whats Your Name

**Okay so this is my second story and this chapter is not that great but i have a lot of cool ideas so i hope you guys can give it a chance. i appreciate reviews but whatever. I'm also open to other peoples ideas and what not. i do not own harry potter.**

**This chapter was mainly just to introduce the characters and how they feel about each other, hopefully it will get better. i'm pretty new to the whole writing thing.**

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**DEVYN'S P.O.V**

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I've only been sitting in this classroom for a total of twenty-six minutes, it's only the first day of lessons and I have already come to the conclusion of six things.

1- Professor Adams is extremely attractive.

2- Professor Adams knows he is extremely attractive.

3- Professor Adams has a very interesting way of teaching.

4- My boyfriend, Matt, does not like professor Adams because of reasons 1 and 2.

5- I left my quill in my dorm room.

6- I really need a haircut.

I don't really know why I decided to take muggle studies this year, considering I'm muggleborn. I would say it was because of Matt but then I would be lying. To be honest, Matt has grown pretty distant as of late and it's really annoying. It's not like I'm one of those overbearing girlfriends or anything but, correct me if I'm wrong, I'm almost positive that your boyfriend is supposed to pay at least a little attention to you. And he doesn't even really have an excuse. He's not a prefect, we don't have OWLS or NEWTS this year, and I'm pretty sure he hasn't gotten any life altering news lately.

As if reading my mind, Matt grabbed my left hand and smiled at me. I smiled back, happy to get the attention, even if it was only for a couple seconds. He turned away from me and went back to listening to professor Adams, which I realized I should also be doing.

"Alright class, that's it for today's lesson," I looked up at the clock he keep's hanging over his classroom door and realized that their was still fifteen minutes left of class. Nice of him to let us out early.

As we all started standing up and packing up our books I noticed Professor Adams furrowed his brow in confusion, "I said that was it for today's lesson, not today's class," he said, "Sit back down, I have a project to assign." Most of the class groaned at that but I was actually excited. If it was a group project Professor Adams seems like the kind of teacher to let you choose your own partners, and if that was the case than maybe me and Matt can work out whatever's going on with him and get back to normal.

"Now first things first, I'm going to assign you all partners," Or not. There goes my genius plan. Matt at least looked disappointed at this, as did most of the class. Professor Adams sighed, "Don't act like that guys, It's important to the project to have a partner that you don't know very well." The complaining stopped but most people still looked a little mad.

"Okay, Umm Matt," That was one of the main things I liked about Professor Adams; he always used our first names. I'll be the first to admit that it gets quite annoying being called 'Miss. Forest' all the time. "You go work with… uhh, Remus." Neither Remus nor Matt seemed to upset or overly thrilled about this paring. If I was Matt I would be ecstatic, Remus has to be one of the smartest people in our year, let alone our house. If this project had anything to do with using your brain, they would definitely pass. Matt picked up his already packed bag, smiled at me and moved over to sit next to Remus, taking Peter's seat. I've always thought Peter was a little creepy. Not in a perverted way but more of in a mysterious way. It always seems like he's up to something.

"Let's see, Peter, since you're already up go work with… Peyton," Peter seemed excited about that. Peyton's a really pretty girl but sort of a loner. The only person she really hangs out with is Tyra, one of our roommates. She's independent. I've always admired that about her. She looked really flattered by the way Peter acted but also slightly scared. I guess I wasn't the only one who got the weird vibe. Once he made it to the table Peyton made room for him at her otherwise empty table.

I was growing impatient while waiting for my partner to be chosen. There were only four of us left: Ryan Scott, Kyle Hastings, Sirius Black, and myself. I didn't really care who I was partnered up with, except maybe Ryan, he's always creeped me out a little. I would have liked to be partners with Lily Evans, we haven't ever really been friends but she's really smart so I would have made it work. But NOOOOOOOO… James Potter gets to work with her, bless his soul. The poor guys been in love with her for years and she doesn't even give him the time of day.

"Well…Ryan, how about you go work with Devyn," Crap. Just my luck. I sighed quietly but before I can get to upset Professor Adams changes his mind, "You know what, scratch that," Ryan stops walking halfway to my desk and turns to look at him, "You go with Kyle. Sirius come work with Devyn." I smiled. Much better. Me and Sirius got on pretty well for two people who knew absolutely nothing about each other. Sirius made his way over to my table and sat down. I smiled politely and he returned it. He had a very nice smile.

"Hi," I said with an awkward wave.

"Hey," He laughed then added, "partner."

I was about to continue our conversation by saying a casual 'how are you' but Professor Adams seemed to have other plans.

"This will be all of your assigned seats for the rest of the year," once again there was a chorus of groans and complaints but I had no problem with my new partner and looking over at Sirius he didn't seem to have any problems with me either, "And the stuff I'm handing out now is your project." I picked up one of the two packets he set on our desk while Sirius took the other one. Since its muggle studies we used paper and pencil instead of the usual parchment and quill, which I really enjoyed considering it's been just over five years and I still haven't mastered the art of writing with a quill.

After looking through the packet a couple times to say I was confused would be an understatement. I looked over at Sirius and he just shrugged as if to say, 'I have no idea.'

"This project is just a way to get to know each other, a way to feel comfortable with being partners. I have designed a 50-sheet packet, the one your all holding now, with over two thousand questions about yourself. You will be asking each other theses questions and filling them out as you go along. Don't worry about me reading them, because I wont, I have a spell that lets me know if you filled it all out correctly and shared ALL of the answers with each other. It's due by the end of this month, you may start now, we have… seven more minutes." The project seemed easy enough, a little personal, but easy.

I looked over at Sirius, "Hi," I said then mentally slapped myself, remembering I had just said hi not even two minutes ago.

He smiled, "You already said that."

"I did, didn't I," I agreed.

"Yeah," he chuckled slightly, "so…" he seemed to be looking for something to talk about, "What do you think about Adams?"

I shrugged, "He's alright, I guess. Not as cool as I expected him to be."

Sirius nodded his head in agreement but quickly changed his face to one of shock, "Are you kidding!" he said in a high pitched, girly voice, that caught me completely off guard, then he giggled, "Just look at him! I mean he's _so_ dreamy… Can you say yummm!"

I stared at him with wide eyes for a few moments before I started laughing loudly. He chuckled along with me and in that moment I decided that Sirius was all right. I had heard many rumors about him being rude and scary but I had never really witnessed any of that myself so I'm just going to forget about it. Plus, my dad always said not to judge others without reason, and to my brother and me, my dads word is like gospel. So I've decided, for now Sirius is my friend.

"That was a direct quote from Kimberly," he said, rolling his eyes playfully. I grinned, not finding that hard to believe at all. Kimberly was one of those air headed girls, she was kind of sluty but you really cant help but love her. She's in my dorm too.

"So," I said, "What should we do."

"I don't know," My partner replied, "what can we do?"

"We can sit here and stare at our shoes," I offered with a shrug.

Sirius looked thoughtful for a few seconds before agreeing, "Okay."

A couple minutes passed in silence and my fingers began to strum a beat on the desk. My leg started shaking. My feet taping. My nose itching. Finally I broke, "Okay this is really boring."

Sirius looked relieved, "OH, thank God. I was going to say something but I felt bad."

"Don't feel bad," I said.

"Okay," He replied easily.

"So…" I really wanted to do something but for the life of me could not think of anything.

"So…" He imitated.

"Watcha doing?" I asked, knowing full well that he was doing the exact same thing as me… nothing.

"Nothing," He smiled slightly at the question.

"Cool," I commented, "Me too."

"I figured."

"Yeah," I was hoping that he didn't get to bored talking to me, "So, lets do something."

Sirius looked at me expectantly for a couple seconds before he spoke, "Well?"

I looked at him confused, "Well what?"

"Well… what do you want to do?"

"Oh, I was hoping you could pick something out this time," I said.

He closed his eyes for a few seconds and scrunched his eyebrows together. I assumed this was his thinking face.

"I got nothing," he finally said.

"Oh, that's no good," I sighed.

"Yeah, that's what I thought," he replied then looked over at me, "are you sure you don't have any ideas?"

"Well," I thought for a moment then said, "We could work on our project."

"Good idea," he flipped to the first page of the packet, "Do you want to go first?"

"No, Its fine, you can," I waved my hand in a manner that showed I didn't care.

"You sure?" he asked smiling.

"Yup."

"Okay then," he cleared his throat and tried to look very professional, "What's your full name?"

"Is that really a question?" I asked, slightly surprised that Professor Adams thought that we wouldn't even know each other's names.

"Yeah," he nodded, "See," he then flipped open my packet and pointed to the first question.

"And so it is," I said.

"Okay," he responded, looking at me expectantly.

"What?" I asked.

He raised an eyebrow, "You have to answer the question."

"You don't know my name?" I asked, "I'm hurt."

He laughed, "Don't be hurt, of course I know your name, it's Devyn Forest. I just remember Adams saying that we have to answer the questions verbally."

"Oh okay," I nodded, feeling slightly stupid, "Hi, I'm Devyn Renee Forest."

Sirius smiled as he wrote that down, "Renee?"

I nodded my head.

"That's a very pretty name," now I knew that all those rumors about him couldn't be true. He was sweet.

"Thank you," I smiled brightly.

"Your welcome," he said, "Your turn."

"Oh yeah, what's _your_ name?" I asked. He grinned mischievously.

"Sirius Lee Black," I looked up at him grinning. He grinned back and suddenly I was laughing.

"Really!" I asked excitedly.

"No," he said, " I don't have a middle name."

"Oh," I was still smiling, "That would have been really cool."

He smiled, "I know, must people don't think that joke is very funny."

"I thought it was," I said, and then added, "You should legally make that your name."

"I was thinking about it actually," his face lit up, "Then when I introduce myself I could be like, 'the names Black… Sirius Lee Black' you know."

"Yeah, I'm kind of jealous," I laughed, wishing I had a cool name.

"That's understandable," he said, grinning all the while.

"So," I said looking back at my packet, "should I write Sirius Lee Black, or just Sirius Black?"

He thought for a couple moments, "Surprise me."

"Okay! Your going to be Sirius-lee surprised," I said with a smile.

"That was really corny," he laughed nonetheless.

"Yeah, I know," I said back. As I was writing down his name, Professor Adams dismissed us.

"Alright," He said standing up and gathering all his things, "Umm, how about we get started on this tonight, after dinner?"

"Sure," I said, following his lead, "Where should we meet?"

"Umm… How about the kitchens?" he asked.

"After dinner?"

"Yeah," He said.

"Well, wont we be full?" I wondered.

"Well we don't have to eat anything," He said.

"Okay then, the kitchens it is," I replied, spotting Matt beckoning me over.

"Sounds good," Sirius said as he joined his friends, James Potter, Remus Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew.

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SIRIUS' P.O.V

"Sounds good," I replied before walking over to the guys, after noticing Matt call Devyn over to him.

"Hey guys," I said once I reached them, "I got to cancel on the whole Slytherin thing tonight, me and Devyn are working on our packet thing." Remus looked upset while James and Peter nodded.

"Me too," James smiled brightly, probably thinking about getting to work with Red all night. I honestly don't see what her problem is, James is a great guy and he pretty much worships the ground she walks on. I thought that was the kind of stuff girls liked.

Remus sighed, "I guess it's just me and you tonight Peter."

Peter coughed guiltily, "Actually me and Peyton are going to go ahead and get started too." Ha, poor moony.

"Ye-ah!" James smiled, patting Peter on the back, "Get in there, Wormtail!" I laughed loudly while Peter just smirked.

"What am I supposed to do then!" Remus looked like he was about to get mad and if there's one thing you should know it's that an angry werewolf is not fun. Not one bit.

"Why don't you start your project? Isn't that, like, your forte?" I suggested, knowing that Remus loved to get his work done early, but that just seemed to make him madder.

"Because Matt's a dick," He crossed his arms violently. Ohh, so that's why he was acting like a PMSing girl.

"Really?" I asked, finding it hard to believe. Devyn didn't seem like the kind of girl to put up with guys like that.

"Yeah, really," He confirmed, "All he talked about was how great he was, all the girls he thinks are 'worth bedding' and how tired of his girlfriend he is." I bawled my fist, suddenly angry. What the fuck was Matt's problem? Devyn's a really nice girl.

"He really said that about Devyn?" I asked, wanting to make sure he wasn't just over exaggerating. Maybe he heard wrong or something.

Remus looked over at me, completely confused for a second, "Who said anything about Devyn?" he asked then suddenly made the connection, "Oh."

"Yeah," I waited for a response.

"Well, Yeah, he said that but… who knows, they could be, fighting or… something," He trailed off. I didn't think they were fighting because she didn't seem upset or anything while we were talking. Plus, even if they were fighting, he still shouldn't be talking about 'bedding' other girls. Who even says that? Bedding?

"Don't do anything stupid, Padfoot," James said, probably noticing how angry I had gotten.

"Yeah, I know," I said, knowing it wasn't my place to intervene, especially considering I barely knew either one of them.

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DEVYN'S P.O.V

I was sitting next to Matt at the Gryffindor table, our friends around us, well they were more his friends then my friends.

"So." He said, "What did Sirius say that was so funny?"

"I don't even really remember," Even if I did remember, it would be hard to pinpoint which time exactly he was talking about, Sirius had said a lot of funny things.

"It seemed pretty funny for something you didn't remember," he commented but after the look I gave him he dropped the subject, "Whatever," he said, "Anyways, Kimberly, how's your day been?" like I said before, Kimberly's just one of those people you cant help but love. I wouldn't say she's one of my close friends, to be honest I don't have any close friends here besides Matt, but her and Matt are pretty tight so she with us all the time. There are also Matt's two best friends, Kyle Hastings, who's hilarious, and Justin Marks, who's a dick.

"Yeah Kim," Justin said with a wink, "Why don't you tell us all how your day went."

Kim turned extremely red but grinned. About two seconds later Kyle jumped up randomly and glared at Matt.

"OW! Man, what the fuck was that for?" He asked as he clutched his leg.

Matt looked apologetic, "Sorry," He said, "That was supposed to be Justin."

"Why did you want to kick Justin?" Its not like I was complaining or anything, like I said, I'm not a big fan of Justin, but I was curious.

Justin, Matt and Kimberly all shared a secrete look while Matt hastily replied, "No reason."

Kyle and me looked at each other, both of us completely confused, "umm okay, that's not suspicious at all."

I hate that. It always seems like Kim, Justin, and Matt are hiding something. It makes me feel bad for Kyle too. Him and Matt were friend's way before stupid Justin came along and now Kyle is always left out of everything. I think I'm going to say something to Matt later tonight, after me and Sirius work on our project.

"So," I looked at Kyle, trying to ignore Matt, "How's working with Ryan?"

He shuddered, "Ehh, he's weird."

I laughed, "I figured… is it mean that I'm glad he's your partner instead of mine?"

He smiled, "A little, but I don't blame you."

"Then I'm sorry," I said returning the smile.

"It's fine," He laughed with a wave of his hand.

"I guess luck was just on my side," I said.

He agreed, "Yeah, I guess so."

"Yeah!" Matt said loudly. Both Kyle and me jumped in surprise, "Great for you! You're sooo lucky. Your partner is Sirius Fucking Black." I rolled my eyes, assuming he was just playing around.

"Don't roll your eyes at me," He warned. I felt like a little kid being yelled at by my father.

"Dude, calm down," Kyle advised Matt.

"_Dude_," Matt imitated, "No."

"What's your problem, man?" Kyle asked loudly, gaining the attention of a few people.

"What's my problem? _What's my problem_?" Matt slammed his hand down on the table loudly, "_MY PROBLEM _is that my _girlfriend _has been talking about Sirius Black all fucking Dinner!"

"Don't be jealous Matt," Kyle smirked.

I directed a scoff at Matt, "Your joking, right?"

"No, I'm not."

I looked at him with wide eyes, "Oh my God, I haven't even said his name _once _this entire time, you're the one who keeps bringing him up." He rolled eyes over dramatically.

"Don't roll your eyes at me," I mimicked him from earlier making Kyle laugh.

"Whatever." I laughed humorlessly as he, Kim, and Justin stood up and left.

I looked over at Kyle, "That had to be a joke, right?"

"Nah, I think Matt's just turning into a girl," He said while stealing my bread.

I slapped his hand away, "Hey!"

He smirked, "Hey, how are you?"

"That's not funny," I said but contradicted my words by smiling.

"Oh okay, so I'm just going to assume that you're smiling because it's your angry face?" He asked.

"Yes," I replied, "It is, actually."

"Well then," He began to eat MY bread, "I find that extremely fascinating."

"Many people do." I said.

"Please, do tell me more," I laughed slightly.

"This conversation is going nowhere."

Kyle looked up in interest, "I heard that's a lovely place."

I nodded my head in agreement, "Yes, but they say the weather is dreadful."

He shook his head in disappointment, "What a shame, I may have to rethink my vacation plans now."

"I think it would be best if you do," I said, trying to look solemn.

Kyle pretended to be sad for a few more seconds before smiling again, "Are we done now?"

I laughed, "Yes, I believe we are."

After that I started to eat my food, or what was left of it. A few seats down I noticed Sirius stand up and look in my direction. I smiled.

"Hey Kyle," he looked over at me, "Sorry to leave you alone but I'm going to go work on that project thing with Sirius."

He shrugged, "It's cool," then smirked, "But please remember to invite me to the wedding."

I laughed, "Don't worry, I will."

"But if I were you," he said, "I would leave Matt off the guest list."

"I couldn't agree more." And with that I walked over to Sirius.

"Hey, Sirius… Wait up!" I yelled causing him to turn around.

"Hey," he said when I finally caught up, "again."

"Sorry for having to follow you around but I may have forgotten to mention that I have no idea where the kitchens are…" He laughed and motioned for me to follow.

"So," We had been walking in complete silence for about ten minutes before Sirius decided to talk, "What's up?"

I sighed, "Nothing."

Sirius smiled a little, "That was a very unconvincing nothing."

"Matt's mad at me."

Sirius looked up curiously, "Why?" He asked.

I shrugged, "He's jealous."

"Of what?"

"You." That answer seemed to catch him off guard but he recovered quickly.

"Well, I can't say I blame him," he said jokingly, "I am pretty amazing."

"Modest too," I replied with a smile.

"Totally," he agreed, "I think I would be jealous too."

"It's only natural," I said.

He laughed for a few seconds then put on a serious face, "but really," he said, "What's he jealous of?"

"You," I repeated.

"Why?" he acted surprised.

"He thinks were going to get married," I said with a laugh.

"Who? You and him?" he asked confused.

"Me and you," I corrected.

"Oh," he smiled, "Well then, I guess the secretes out."

"I guess so," I played along.

"Who told him?" he investigated.

I raised an eyebrow, "Well… it could have been Kyle but I have my suspicions on Justin."

"That Justin… always up to no good," Sirius shook his head.

"That is true," I said.

"We never should have told him," He continued.

I nodded my head, "I told you it was a bad idea."

"And I just didn't listen, did I?" I shook my head.

"Nope, you never do," I crossed my arms and he laughed.

"Well, you cant marry someone who doesn't listen to you… can you?" He smiled.

"No, I guess you cant," I pretended to be sad.

"Well then I guess that's it then," he said.

"I guess so," I smiled.

"The wedding is off then," He assumed.

"I'm afraid it is," We stopped walking once we reached a painting of fruit.

"Matt will be thrilled," Sirius noted. I nodded.

We once again fell into a comfortable silence. I stared at the painting, then over to Sirius, then back at it again, waiting for an explanation.

The confusion set in, "Hey Sirius?" I questioned.

He looked over at me, "Yeah?"

"Is there a reason why were standing here?" I asked.

He nodded, "Yes."

I looked at him expectantly but that was all the response I got, "Well do you want to fill me in?"

He just grinned and then did the strangest thing. He tickled the pear. I was about to question his sanity but the words were lost once the portrait swung open and we were suddenly standing in front of the kitchen.

I looked to my left to see him smiling at me, "Cool isn't it?" he asked.

I nodded, "Very cool," I walked inside, "I don't want to know how you discovered the whole pear thing but still, very cool."

We sat down at one of the small tables in the kitchen and pulled out our packets.

"SO," he said, "We should start?"

I nodded, "Yeah."

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**A/N: So like i said, this chapter was just to introduce the characters and please give it a chance. If you have any ideas, complaints, or anything please tell me.**

**~ Iris Stone.**


	2. Open Arms

_**(If you could only see)**_

_**Previously on If You Could Only See: **_

_We sat down at one of the small tables in the kitchen and pulled out our packets._

"_SO," he said, "We should start?" _

_I nodded, "Yeah."_

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_**CHAPTER TWO: OPEN ARMS**_

**Devyn's P.O.V.**

"Alright then," Sirius said, "Question number two… What's your favorite color?"

I replied quickly, "Oh that's an easy one… Gray." I have always loved gray.

Sirius looked curious, "Why gray?" he asked while picking up his quill and writing it down.

I smiled, "Because it's the most neutral color in the world. It has a sense of peace and restfulness and a lack of movement. It's timeless."

Sirius looked at me thoughtfully for a few moments, "Wow," he said, "That was deep."

I laughed, "Alright, what's your favorite color?"

Sirius put on his, what I like to call, thinking face. He scrunched his eyebrows together and closed his eyes. Since his eyes were closed I took this as a chance to study him. I like his hair, it's long but not to long and he didn't have bangs, which was definitely a good thing. See, if he did have bangs then they would cover his eyes and even though I cant see them right now, I know that he has pretty eyes. Once I moved my eyes away from his hair I noticed a light scar traveling from the bottom of his ear and down his neck. I couldn't tell how long it was exactly because his shirt covered up the rest. And speaking of his shirt covering up things, from what I could see, Quidditch had definitely done him some good. I mean his arms were amaz—

"Brown," He finally said, bringing me out of my thoughts. I looked at him weirdly.

"Brown?" I asked, lifting one eyebrow. I did a little happy dance in my head afterwards realizing that I had finally gotten the one eyebrow thing down.

He nodded, "Yeah, originally I was going to say that I liked all of them and couldn't choose, but I figured you would just say 'pick one' and I would say 'I cant' and then you would say 'just do it' and then I would complain about being under pressure and it would all turn into one big mess," He took a deep breath and continued, "So… I thought to myself, _What would I get if I mixed them all together_, and BAM! Brown."

I blinked at him a few times before laughing, "That was very well thought out," then wrote down his answer, "Okay next question."

Sirius looked down at his packet, "Umm… What was the last thing you dreamt about?" He looked at me and turned bright red. I was about to ask what was wrong before he started to speak again, " Can we save that one for tomorrow?" He asked.

"Why?" I questioned. I could tell he was starting to get uncomfortable but I didn't really care.

He sighed, "So that I can have time to dream of something a lot less awkward to talk about," I once again raised one eyebrow.

Now I was really curious, "Why would it be awkward to talk about?" He was fidgeting in his seat and was looking at anything but me.

"Because," Was the only response I got. I was starting to get an idea of what kind of dream he had but I was going to make him say it.

"Because?" I repeated, "Well if its just _because_ then I assume that's good enough."

"I'm sensing sarcasm," Sirius said obviously trying to talk about anything but his dream.

"Wow," I looked at him amazed, "Your sensing skills are fantastic."

"Thank you!" He smiled widely but then noticed the look I was giving him, "Oh, that was sarcasm too, wasn't it?"

"Yeah," I laughed but quickly changed it into a smirk, "So what was the last thing you dreamt about?"

"Damn," He said, "I thought I won."

"Well, do you know what they say about thinking?" I asked.

"No," He replied, "What?"

I shrugged, "I'm not sure, that's why I asked you," We both laughed but I stopped abruptly, "Back to the subject… what did you dream about?"

He stopped laughing as soon as I asked the question again; "I told you already, it's awkward to talk about… especially with you."

Ouch. That hurt. "Just trust me," I said, avoiding the fact that I felt slightly insulted.

"I don't even really know you," He reminded me.

I nodded my head, "Yes, but don't I look trustworthy?" I asked. It was true: with my brown hair, light blue eyes, and innocent smile, I could be the poster child for trustworthy.

"I guess so," He said after looking at me for a couple seconds.

"Alright then," I replied with a triumphed smile, "What was the dream?"

Sirius opened his mouth reluctantly then quickly shut it again, "I'm sorry," He apologized, "It's just to awkward."

I huffed in annoyance, "Why wont you tell me!"

He raised his voice slightly, "Because it's awkward and I like to avoid awkward situations!"

I matched his raised voice, "Merlin! What could be sooooo awkward that you cant even tell—" I started but was interrupted by Sirius' screaming.

"WE WERE IN THE SHOWER TOGETHER!" Wow. I was not expecting that. I literally felt my jaw drop and my eyes widen, "Alright! I told you," he was rubbing the back of his neck and his face was beat red, "We were… in the shower together… and… we… lets just say we weren't exactly 'showering'."

I was still staring at him with the same ridiculous expression on my face when he started talking again, "Well… say something."

"It's alright," I smirked when he sighed in relief, "Don't be embarrassed, everybody has that dream about me," I joked. Sirius was finally able to meet my eyes and he smiled. After a few seconds he started to get a weird look in his eyes. I gasped and hit him in the arm, "Don't have the dream now, Sirius!"

He grabbed his arm with his other hand and apologized, "Sorry."

"It's alright," I said, then thought of something kind of weird, "Hey Sirius?"

"Yeah?" he asked.

"When did you have time to have that… um… dream? We only really met today." I asked.

"Oh," He said, "I skipped History Of Magic today and decided to take a nap before dinner and… yeah… you know the rest?" I nodded my head, "So," He asked, "What did you dream about?"

I thought back to last night and laughed, "Me and Kyle robbed a bank and blamed it on Justin," Sirius also laughed and wrote it down. The only reason I really thought the dream was funny is because it sounds like something we would actually do. I have always gotten along with Kyle the best out of all of Matt's friends. Plus we both hated Justin. I hate him because of something he did to me in third year that I still haven't gotten over and Kyle hates him for the same reason and he claims that Justin 'stole' Matt away from him or whatever.

"Next question," He said, "If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you live?"

I thought about it for a second before answering, "Here."

Sirius scrunched his eyebrows together, "Here as in Hogwarts or here as in England."

"Here as in England," He nodded and wrote it down.

"Why?" He asked a soon as he looked up from the paper.

I shrugged, "Because I already know that it works for me and I wouldn't have to learn a new language or culture."

"That makes sense," He said before answering his own, "I would pick America."

I wrote it down, "Why?" I asked when I was done.

He smirked, "The lady's love British accents, it's like magic… no pun intended." I laughed because of how true that actually was. Me, my dad, and my brother Sean went to America over this past summer and the girls were all over Sean because he's British. Sirius started laughing after I told him that story.

We had gone through about a page and a half of questions before I suddenly remembered something I was going to ask him about our previous conversation. Something that was sure to be embarrassing but I really wanted to know.

"Hey Sirius," I asked nervously. I already knew he would probably think I was weird for even asking this question but I couldn't help it.

He looked at me curiously, "Yeah?"

I took in a breath and asked quickly before I chickened out, "How was I?"

"Huh," Sirius said. Damn. I really didn't want to have to say it again.

I took another deep breath and repeated myself, "How was I?"

Sirius still looked confused, "What are you talking about?" God, could this boy not pick up on anything.

I rolled my eyes and clarified, "You know, in your dream…How was I?"

He still acted like he had no idea what I was talking about, "What are you… Oh… that…." Once he realized what I was talking about his face turned red again, "you were great. Really really great."

"Really?" I smiled, "Because Matt always seems like he's not…satisfied anymore, or whatever." It was kind of annoying. Actually no, it was _really _annoying. Matt always used to treat me like a princess, he would show me off to all his friends and surprise me with flowers for no reason, he was a great boyfriend and I loved it. He used to actually be nice to me, things were great, things were better then great. But then things just started to get weird and he was distant, but now he's just plain rude. I would break up with him but I feel like we've been together for so long and we've been through so much together that I don't want to be the one who ruins it.

"Well Dream you was great…" Sirius said, once again bringing me out of my thoughts,

"But if you would like me to give my opinion on the real you, my dorm is empty and—oww!" He started with a smirk but never got to finish because I once again slapped his arm.

I glared and pointed my finger at him, "You deserved that."

He nodded his head in agreement before saying, "I had to try."

I smiled slightly, "I'll give you credit for that." And once again the awkwardness was gone. We got through about five more pages of questions before I remembered something.

"Crap!" I said suddenly casing Sirius to jump slightly. He looked over to me with a face that clearly showed he thought I was mental.

"What?" He asked but I ignored him as I stood up and gathered my things.

"What time is it?" I asked quickly but grabbed his arm and looked at his watch before he could answer. 9:00…perfect, I thought I was going to be late, " I got to go, I'm sorry."

Sirius stood up as well and picked all his stuff up, "Where are you going?" he asked as we both made our way out of the kitchens.

"I promised Matt I would meet him in the common room at 9:15, I cant believe I almost forgot," I said, slapping my hand to my forehead.

"Well I know a shortcut that will get us there in like… three minutes," Sirius said abruptly changing the direction we were walking in.

I smiled widely, "you're the best!" I then surprised him, and myself, by hugging him.

He smiled, "Does this mean the weddings back on?" he asked and I laughed.

I titled my head to the side and pretended to think really hard, "Well… Do you have a ring?" I questioned, "Because if you don't have a ring then I'm afraid it's just not going to happen."

He grinned, "I can get a ring, that won't be a problem."

"Well then," I said, "I guess all that's left is to deal with Matt."

Sirius nodded in agreement, "Deal with him, deal with him? How?" he asked, "car crash? Drowning? What do you suggest?"

I thought for a moment, "Well I would say car crash because it's the easiest to pull off but seeing as we don't have a car or anything it would be safe to go with drowning." I concluded.

"Good point," Sirius said, as we rounded the corner that lead to the common room.

I thought about our conversation and laughed lightly, "What?" Sirius asked.

I shook my head, "We are so going to hell." I said.

"Why?" He looked at me confused.

I raised my eyebrow, "Well it might have something to do with the fact that we just planed to murder my boyfriend."

"Oh yeah, that…" He laughed. I smiled. Sirius was easy to talk to, I'm glad we met; I could see us becoming really good friends.

"Well," He said, motioning his hands to the portrait of the fat lady, "Fortuna Major," The portrait swung open and he motioned for me to walk in, "Lady's first."

"My my, what a gentleman," I curtsied causing him to laugh again and then walked into the common room, him following closely behind. I grabbed his arm and looked at his watch… 9: 13, perfect.

"Alright, I guess I'll see you later then," He waved once he got his arm back.

"Yeah," I smiled, "See you later," we kind of stared at each other and just stood there for a couple seconds. Neither one of us moved, we both just stayed still. I started to get a little uncomfortable and Sirius looked like he felt the same way. I should have just walked away after I said see you later, but now it's to late for that. I'm usually so good at avoiding uncomfortable or awkward situations; I don't know how I could have let this happen. I know what your thinking, this isn't that bad, but think about it… I'm stuck here staring at Sirius, a guy who I just met today, and I have no idea what else to say and neither does he, and I have a feeling I'm going to end up sneezing, which would just be embarrassing. His hands are deep in his pockets so he is obviously feeling just as weird as I am about this. This feels like one of those moments where you say good-bye to somebody but end up walking the same way as them and then have to desperately try to ignore them or act like you didn't notice.

I really want to break the silence but I cant because I already said 'see you later' and I'm not aloud to talk again until he says something, that's the law of conversation. I could feel myself getting even more uncomfortable and I could almost feel the sneeze coming. I know I probably sound weird right now but I have a problem, I have trouble acting even remotely normal when I'm nervous.

Sirius coughed awkwardly and I sighed in relief, that obviously meant he was about to say something and this would finally be over, "Are we supposed to hug or something?" I shrugged, not sure if that would make things more awkward or less awkward.

"I don't know," I answered, wishing I had something better to say. Luckily my lack of talking didn't even faze Sirius because he continued talking as if I hadn't said a thing.

"Because it think a handshake would be a little to weird and awkward and that's for old people and just walking away is out of the question now because we've already waited to long so I think a hug is our only option…what do you say?" He asked, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Alright," I nodded. Anything to move on from this moment.

"Alright," He repeated removing his hand from his neck and looking slightly more comfortable.

"So…" I said wondering if I should make the first move or if he should. It was his idea so I think he should but I could be wrong.

"So…" He repeated… again. I hate it when people do that.

"Stop doing that," I said causing him to look surprised.

"Stop doing what?" He asked, taking a small step back.

"Copying everything I say!" I informed him and he looked apologetic.

"Sorry, that wasn't intentional," He said and I immediately felt bad for yelling. Now he probably thinks I'm crazy.

Once again we were standing in silence but I was aloud to talk this time because he spoke last, "Well," I said.

He smiled, "Well."

I gasped, "You were so copying me on purpose before!" He made me feel guilty for no reason, stupid jerk. I'll probably get over it in about 35 seconds but still, very jerk-ish.

He put his hands up in mock surrender, "Sorry, sorry, you now have five seconds of punching rights…" he looked down at his watch, "ready, set…go!"

I laughed, "I'm not going to punch you."

"Come on just punch me," he said moving his arms and giving me a clear shot of his chest.

"No," I laughed again at the thought that he actually wanted me to punch him.

"Why won't you punch me?" he asked and I laughed again.

"Just because," I said, "Plus, were not supposed to be punching, were supposed to be hugging!" I reminded him.

He smiled, "Oh yeah! I almost forgot…come here," He spread his arms out and I slowly walked into them. The hug was nice, a little awkward because I didn't know what to do with my hands so I just settled on putting them on his shoulders, which were great by the way. Matt should really take up Qudditch because I could get used to a body like Sirius'.

"How long do you think this hug should last?" I asked after a few moments, my arms still wrapped around him.

He smiled, "I don't know, give it a couple more seconds, I'm remembering a really good dream I had a few hours ago."

I laughed, "Pervert."

He laughed too, "You want to punch me now?" I shook my head no and rested my forehead on his chest, "Good," he mumbled putting his chin on the top of my head. He smelled really good. And that's not a weird thing to think because its not like I'm going out of my way to smell him, I mean he's right in front of my nose so it's kind of unavoidable.

I almost forgot that we were in the common room until a voice from behind us spoke up, "This looks cozy." We quickly let go of each other; reluctantly I hate to admit, and spun around. I realized that it must have been 9:15 already and that must have been Matt. I let out a sigh of relief when I realized it was just Kyle and that he was smiling, "I have to say Dev," he said with a laugh in his voice, "You work fast. I hope you know I was just kidding about the wedding thing."

I laughed, "Very funny," I said then looked over at Sirius, "you know Kyle, right?"

"umm… kind of, hey man," he said and then the two of them did one of those handshakes that all guys somehow know.

"Well," I said, "He's Matt's best friend." Kyle frowned when I said that, "Speaking of," I looked back at Kyle, "Have you seen Matt around, he was supposed to meet me here…" I once again grabbed Sirius' arm to look at his watch, I really need to get one of my own. It was 9:37, "like 20 minutes ago."

"No," Kyle shook his head, "the last I saw of him was at lunch," I was about to say something but Kyle kept on, "Speaking of lunch," he turned to Sirius and I smiled when I realized were this was going, "You were a pretty popular subject today."

Sirius smiled, "So I've heard."

Kyle laughed, "I swear I think Matt's out throwing flaming darts at your picture."

I laughed, "Maybe that's why he's not here."

Kyle shook his head, "No, he's not here because his a fucking dick."

Sirius raised his eyebrow and looked at me, "I'm sorry I think I may have heard you wrong, didn't you say he was Matt's best friend?"

Me and Kyle both laughed and he spoke, "Yeah well, best friend or not he's still a dick these days."

I nodded in agreement, "You got that right."

Kyle looked sympathetic, "Well I'll go look for him, kick his ass for you," I smiled.

"Thanks Kyle."

"No problem," he said turning and walking out of the common room, "I got your back Dev."

"He seemed like a good guy," Sirius said as soon as Kyle was gone.

"Yeah, he is," I replied, "I wish we were closer friends but he's always just been Matt's friend, come to think of it, I don't have a lot of friends here."

Sirius smiled, "Well I could be your friend."

I smiled back, "I think I would like that," I think I would really _really _like that.

"Good," he said, "Because I would like that too."

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**A/N: Sorry it took so long to upload this chapter, i had it done but i forgot to upload it. oops. anyways, i just wanted to say thanks to _Lizaluvsdoggies _and _Imogen-xox _for reviewing on the first chapter. Anyways, i'm not going to beg for reviews because i'm to awkward but i really do appreciate them so... yeah. And remember i'm always open to your suggestions, ideas and stuff like that, if you have a good new character or plot idea then tell me and i'll probably use it.  
**

**-Iris Stone**

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	3. Stupid Boy

_****_**A/N: Okay, so i know you have all been wondering... Why does everybody hate Justin? Well you're about to find out.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own harry potter.**

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_**(If you could only see)**_

_**Previously on If You Could Only See:**_

_**.**_

_Sirius smiled, "Well I could be your friend."_

_._

_I smiled back, "I think I would like that," I think I would really really like that._

_._

"_Good," he said, "Because I would like that too."_

_._

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_**CHAPTER THREE: STUPID BOY**_

"Did you find him?" I asked Kyle hopefully when he walked through the portrait hole. He looked up and shook his head sympathetically.

"I'm sorry Dev," He said, "I'm sure it's nothing to worry about though. He probably just forgot."

"Yeah well he's been 'just forgetting' a lot and I'm tired of it," I replied angrily. I had been sitting in the common room by myself for about an hour waiting for Kyle to get back. Sirius met James and Peter in the common room about five minutes after Kyle left, they were going to visit Remus in the hospital wing, so it was a pretty boring hour.

"Your not the only one," He sat down next to me on the couch and let out a defeated sigh.

"He used to be so good," I said sadly. It was hard to think about how great we used to get along, how close him and Kyle used to be, how different everything was.

"He's not the same guy he used to be," Kyle agreed, "I don't even know who he is anymore."

I nodded, "Yeah, I don't know what happened," I wish everything would just go back to normal. Maybe back to the end of fourth year, that was when it was the best. Matt and me had just gotten together, Justin wasn't in the picture yet, I had met Kyle and Molly. Molly is Kyle's girlfriend. He's obsessed with her and it's really cute. She's in Ravenclaw, she's super smart, really cute, and a year below us. They've been dating since the beginning of our fourth year and he swears he's going to marry her, I don't doubt it.

"I do," Kyle brought me out of my thoughts.

"Do what?" I asked, forgetting what I had said.

"You said you didn't know what happened to him… well I do," I looked over at Kyle curiously.

"What?" I asked.

"Justin happened," he said simply. I thought about it for a moment and couldn't help but agree. Everything went down hill once Justin and Matt met. They met in detention in the middle of fifth year. I hated it. I already hated Justin and Matt knew it, Matt knew what he did to me… but he didn't care. That's when we got in our first real fight. Kyle and Molly took my side and Kim and Ryan Scott, the guy who I was almost partnered with in muggle studies, took Matt's side. Ryan is Matt's cousin, they used to be close but Justin didn't like Ryan so Matt stopped hanging out with him. I've always been creeped out by Ryan but I still felt bad for him, I mean his own cousin cut him out. Matt was his only friend.

"You really hate him, don't you?" I asked referring to Justin.

"Yeah I really do," he said angrily then added, "and I hate Matt for keeping him around."

"I'm sorry," I said, not really sure what I was apologizing for but felt like it was the right thing to say.

"For what?" He asked.

"I don't know," I shrugged, "for Matt not hanging out with you as much."

"That's not why I hate Justin," Kyle said, surprising me.

"What?" I asked.

"That's not why I hate Justin," He repeated.

"Its not," I was confused now.

"Nope," He answered, popping the 'p'.

"Then why?" I was really curious, I couldn't think of anything else that Justin had done to Kyle other than be a dick.

His answer shocked me, "Because of what he did to you."

"Really?" I asked. It was nice of him.

"Yeah," He said.

"You don't have to hate him for me Kyle," I said, but I was really glad he did.

"Yes I do," he insisted.

"No you don't," I replied.

Kyle sighed, "You didn't deserve what he did to you… you didn't deserve it."

"I was stupid," I said, looking down at my shoes, "I fell for it, I deserved everything I got."

Kyle turned to me quickly, "Don't ever think even for a second that any of that was your fault," I was surprised by his tone, "you didn't deserve that and nobody deserves that."

I smiled, "Thanks," it's nice to feel like someone cares.

"Don't mention it," he said, waving my thanks away.

I said it again, "No, really, thank you."

Kyle smiled back, "Your welcome."

Kyle looked away, thinking. He really was a good guy, he always seemed happy and like he didn't have a care in the world, which I know isn't true. Kyle's big brother died about two years ago, they were only two years apart and really close. After his brother died his mom left. Now it's just him, his dad, and his little sister Lora. Lora's adorable and she starts Hogwarts next year, which Kyle is really excited about.

"Do you still think about it?" I looked over at Kyle, not hearing what he said.

"Huh?" I asked.

"Do you still think about it?" I'm sure that's what he was thinking about, debating whether or not to ask me that question.

I nod my head slowly, "Everyday, every time I see Justin."

"I'm sorry," He looked down.

"Don't be," I said.

"I am," I smiled sadly.

"You're the only one," I said holding back the tears I could feel forming in my eyes.

He took my hand and squeezed it, "I'm sorry about that too."

"Thank you." I shook my head, "Third year was a sucky year, wasn't it? For the both of us."

Third year. That's when my life fell apart, I've put it back together but that's when it fell apart. In third year I met Justin. He was cute and charming and I was young and naïve. I thought I was in love with him, he said he was in love with me. It's pretty much the same old clichéd story. He convinced me to sleep with him… I was only 14. When we were done he insulted my body, said I was 'no good' in bed, and then that night in the great hall he told everybody. Everybody. All his friends laughed, I was a bet. I was a fucking bet.

It was awkward and painful and it didn't mean anything to him. And he mocked me for it, he wouldn't let me forget it, he embarrassed me. He made a fool out of me and I let him. Everybody knew. Students, teachers… my parents.

My parents were so angry when I told them. Not at me, sure they were disappointed, but they were angry with Justin. Livid. They had met him during Christmas and they liked him. Not anymore. My mom cried with me, my dad held me as I cried. My brother wanted to kill him and at the time I wished he would have.

My mom died that summer on a Tuesday at 4:36 a.m, my dad cried, my brother cried, I cried. That's when I first met Matt. He was at the hospital with Kyle visiting Kyle's brother. Kyle's brother died a month later. His mom left two weeks later.

I felt something wet on my face and realized I had started crying, I hate crying. I felt Kyle lean over and wipe his thumb across my cheek. "Hey," he said quietly, "hey don't… don't cry."

"I'm sorry," I apologized, "I know it's pathetic."

"Its not pathetic," he said.

"Yes it is," I insisted, the tears still falling.

"No its not," he assured me.

"It happened three years ago and I'm still crying about it," I was mad at myself. I hadn't cried about this in over a year.

"You're aloud to cry Dev… he just doesn't deserve to be cried over alright. Justin is a heartless bastard." I nodded my head in agreement.

"I'm just so embarrassed," I admitted.

"Don't be embarrassed, I bet nobody else even remembers what happened," That didn't really comfort me at all.

"Well I remember," I said still trying to fight back the tears.

"I know," Kyle said sadly.

"I'll never forget," a few more tears escaped.

"I know," a couple more fell, "Come here," Kyle pulled me towards him in a tight hug and I clung to him.

"I want to forget so bad," I broke down.

"And I want to go beat his ass," I silently hoped he would.

"I just want to forget," I could feel my tears soaking up his shirt.

"I know you do," Kyle nodded.

"I don't want to think about it anymore," I admitted.

"I know you don't," he pulled me closer to him.

"I don't ever want to see him again."

"Neither do I," he agreed.

"It shouldn't have happened like that," I cried more.

"I know it shouldn't have," He said.

"I want to take it back so bad, I just want to take it back."

"I wish you could."

"I miss my mom," I said.

"Me too." He said.

"I miss her so much," I hadn't talked about this with anybody but my brother.

"Me too."

We stayed like that for what felt like hours, I know it wasn't, but it felt like it. It felt good to finally have somebody to talk about this with. To be able to cry in front of. My brother would have comforted me, let me cry; but he isn't here. Kyle is. Kyle is here and he helped me and I wish we could be better friends.

I looked up at him. He was frowning, obviously thinking about something, something that was bothering him. I looked away.

"Hey Dev," still not looking at him I answered.

"Yeah?" I asked quietly.

He sighed, "I was thinking about want you said… you know about me just being Matt's friend, I just… I hope that's not how you feel because you're my friend to, your one of my best friends." That surprised me. I looked back up at him and smiled widely.

"Really?" I asked hopefully.

"Yeah, I would do anything for you… You're my number one girl," I raised an eyebrow at that, "Well, besides Molly but that's a given… oh and Lora but you know how that goes." I laughed.

"Yeah, I know how that goes," I said, "Well Kyle I guess that makes you my number one guy… besides Sean," My brother, "You're above Matt right now because he's pissing me off." I mentally added Sirius to that list, but didn't say it out loud because I just met him today so that might be kind of weird.

"Good," Kyle said. We stopped talking but I couldn't stop smiling, I hadn't felt this happy in a long time. I just gained two knew friends; Kyle and Sirius. I kept smiling.

"What are you smiling about?" Kyle asked and I smiled even more.

"I like having a best friend, it makes me happy," He laughed and smiled with me.

He looked down at his watch, "Well… would you kill me if I said I had to go meet Molly?"

I shook my head, "No its fine, go."

"Are you sure," he asked, "cause I can just meet her some other time," and that was saying something. Kyle _never _cancels on Molly. Kyle never even _thinks_ about canceling on Molly.

I pushed him away from me playfully, "Go have fun Kyle."

"Thanks," He jumped up from his seat.

"No problem," He gathered his books and I raised an eyebrow, "You guys going to study?"

"Yeah," He said. We looked at each other for a couple seconds before falling over with laughter, "No." he corrected.

"That's what I thought," I said through laughs.

"See you later Dev," he waved.

"See you later."

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**A/N: Alright so that's it for this chapter. I just really wanted to develop the friendship between Kyle and Devyn. Next chapter there's going to be a lot more Sirius and Matt. Remember i'm open to all of your ideas and suggestions and Review if you'd like. I really appreciate them.**

**~Iris Stone**


	4. Better Man

_**(If you could only see)**_

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_**Previously on If You Could Only See:**_

_Kyle sighed, "I was thinking about want you said… you know about me just being Matt's friend, I just… I hope that's not how you feel because you're my friend to, your one of my best friends." That surprised me. I looked back up at him and smiled widely._

"_Really?" I asked hopefully._

_"Yeah, I would do anything for you… You're my number one girl," I raised an eyebrow at that, "Well, besides Molly but that's a given… oh and Lora but you know how that goes." I laughed._

_._

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_**CHAPTER FOUR: BETTER MAN**_

"Hey," I heard a voice say quietly, "Devyn," I felt somebody shaking me, "Wake up," The voice was a little louder this time and the shaking had turned into poking me on the forehead.

I slowly opened one eye and smiled, "Hey Sirius," I said while slapping his finger away. He smiled back. It's funny how somebody I barley knew yesterday can become one of my favorite people in less than 24 hours. Not that I would tell him that yet… I'll probably wait like at least a week before I verbally say something like that. Otherwise I might scare him away and that would be sad.

"Hey," He laughed slightly, "What are you still doing down here."

I finally looked around and realized that I was still in the common room. That makes sense considering Sirius wouldn't have been able to get into the girls dorm. I yawned, "I guess Matt's a little late," I stated.

Sirius frowned, "He never showed up?" he asked.

I shook my head and popped the 'p' while I said, "Nope."

"I'm sorry," He said, sitting on the floor in front of the couch I was laying on, facing me.

I waved off his apology, "You didn't do anything, don't say sorry."

"Oh, okay, sorry," he replied instantly.

I glared, "I said don't say sorry!"

He laughed while he slapped his forehead, "Oh yeah, sorry."

"Sirius!" I glared again, "You did it again."

He put his hands up in surrender, "I didn't mean to, sorry," He said again then slapped his hand over his mouth.

"SIRIUS!" I yelled amused.

"SORRY…" He shouted but before I could even say anything about him saying sorry again he continued, "Fuck! I'm one of them."

I laughed even though I had no idea what he was talking about, "One of who?" I asked curiously.

He sighed, "An apology whore… I'm an apology whore! Can you believe it?"

I stared at him for a couple seconds, taking in his sad face before laughing hysterically. Sirius just sat there and glared, "It's not funny," He said.

I just kept on laughing, "Come on, it's a little funny."

He shook his head stubbornly, "No," He insisted, "It's not."

I nodded my head, "Yeah it is."

Once I finally calmed down enough to stop laughing I looked at him but the frown that seemed to be stuck on his face just set me off again.

"Stop laughing!" he yelled.

I covered my mouth with my hands, "I can't!"

"I don't even understand what's so funny," He said.

I continued laughing, "its just…I've never heard somebody… refer to themselves as… an 'apology whore'," I said between laughs.

Sirius rolled his eyes, "still don't think it's that funny," he said.

"Come on Sirius admit it's a little funny," He shook his head quickly and frowned. I smiled and brought two of my fingers to the corners of his mouth and forced him to smile.

He fought against it for about ten seconds but finally he ended up grinning, "Okay, it is a little funny."

"See! I'm always right," I cheered.

He shook his head but smiled nonetheless, "Sorry for doubting you."

I laughed loudly, "You did it again!"

"Did what?" He asked.

"You said you were sorry," I informed him.

He put on his 'thinking face' before nodding and answering, "I did, didn't I."

"Yup," I replied happily.

"Damn it," He scolded himself.

We sat there for a couple of seconds just looking around when suddenly my eyes landed on the window. Looking outside I could tell that it was pitch black outside. It must be really late. When I turned back to Sirius he quickly looked away from me as if he had been staring at me. I smiled at that thought for a couple seconds before shaking my head. I had a boyfriend. It was wrong of me to think of Sirius in that way. But Matt's been a real douche lately. And Sirius is really hot. And Matt's been ignoring me. And Sirius is really hot. And Matt's just not nice anymore. And Sirius…is really hot.

"What time is it?" I asked, trying to distract myself from my own thoughts.

"Wow, your actually going to _ask_ this time," Sirius said and I looked at him weirdly.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked, crossing my arms.

"Well, you usually just grab my arm," He said in a matter of fact sort of way.

I grinned, "Oh yeah, that's right," I then yanked his arm towards me and looked at his watch while he laughed. It was 3:08. I can't believe I almost spent the entire night in the common room. And it makes me wonder if Matt ever even came to his dorm. I'm sure he would have woken me up if he saw me asleep in here. At least I hope he would have.

"Why were you in here so late?" I asked Sirius, wondering if he was just getting in.

"I fell asleep in the hospital wing," He yawned. I felt bad for Remus, it seems like he's always in the hospital wing. Poor guy.

"Oh," I said, "Is he okay?"

"Yeah," He replied quietly, "For now."

"Well, tell him I hope he feel's better when you see him," I said. Sirius smiled at me.

"I will… I'm sure he'll really appreciate that," He said then yawned, "I think we should probably head on up to bed now."

I nodded my head in agreement, "Yeah."

He stood up and wiped the imaginary dust of his pants before offering me his hand. I smiled widely and accepted it and he helped me up.

"Thanks," I said quietly, still holding his hand.

"No problem," He replied, not making any attempt to remove his hand from mine.

I liked this. Being with Sirius I mean. Sirius is easy to talk to and he's nice and he listens to me. Matt never talks anymore and he's mean and he's not even around to listen to me. I hate to compare them but I can't help it. Sirius is better than Matt. I'm glad we've become friends. With that thought in mind I stepped closer to him. Friendship. Another step. It's a nice feeling. One more step. Sirius and me are friends. I'm standing right in front of him now, close enough to… realize that were friends that happen to be standing very close to each other and holding hands. And close enough to realize that I like being close to him and holding his hand and if I were to just lean in a little…

Suddenly reality came crashing down on me. I have a boyfriend. I have a boyfriend who is not Sirius. I have a boyfriend and here I am with Sirius wishing more than anything that I could kiss him. But I cant, because I'm not a cheater. Matt may be a douche but he doesn't deserve to be cheated on. I can't be here right now, I have to go. If I don't then I'm going to do something that I regret.

I was about to step away from him but before I could I made the mistake of looking into his eyes. His beautiful, beautiful, eyes. They were gray. Nothing mixed in with gray, just gray. A gray that I could stare into for hours and hours and never grow tired of. A gray that hypnotized me, that captured me. A gray that almost seemed to make time stop. A gray that knew both sorrow and joy. A gray that held a secret never to be told. A gray that has been, and always will be, my favorite color.

And just like that reality was drifting away again. I didn't want to leave but I knew I had to. I slowly let go of his hand, "Good night Sirius," I said.

"Good night Devyn," He slowly took a step back towards the boy's staircase. Then another and another, until I could no longer see him.

This was bad. I have know Sirius all of one day and I already like him better than Matt. I headed up to the girls dorm and slipped into my bed, thoughts of Sirius clouding my mind until I finally drifted into unconsciousness.

.

* * *

.

For the second time that day I felt myself being shaken awake. Sadly, I knew it couldn't be Sirius because this time, I'm definitely in the girl's dorm. I rolled over and groaned, waving whoever was trying to wake me up away.

"Your going to be late Devyn, it's already 7:20," My head shot of my pillow quickly and I noticed Peyton, the girl who was partnered with Peter, standing over my bed. It was obvious that she was the one who had been trying to wake me up.

"7:20? Already!" I jumped out of bed and ran to the bathroom, "Thanks for waking me!" I yelled over to Peyton before closing the door.

"No problem. Do you want me to wait?" I heard her ask from behind the door. I wanted to say yes but I would feel really bad if I made her late.

I shook my head but realized she couldn't see me, "No, it's fine, you go ahead," I screamed as I stripped off my clothes and quickly jumped in the shower. The hot water felt really nice, especially on my neck, which hurt a lot from spending most of the night on the couch.

I took a quick shower and tossed my wet hair into a messy bun, not having the time to really do anything special with it. I walked over to my clothes and pulled out a uniform. I looked over at the clock as I put my clothes on and realized I now only have ten minutes to get to class. There goes breakfast. I guess I will just have to starve until lunch, my stomach growled at the thought.

After I finished dressing I grabbed my bag and ran out of my dorm, down the stairs, and into the common room. I almost made it out of the portrait hole but ran into something hard instead and fell to the floor. I looked up and glared.

It was Matt, "Hey," he said, not even bothering to help me up. Stupid ass hole of a boyfriend.

I stood up on my own and gathered all the stuff that fell out of my bag when I fell, "What do you want Matt," I asked while I whipped the invisible dust off of my skirt. I was already in a hurry and I really wasn't in the mood to listen to any of his bullshit right now. I'm sure whatever he had to say could wait till later. I'll just call it pay back for not showing up last night.

He sighed, "It's what I don't want," I looked at him with a raised eyebrow, "I don't want this for us."

I rolled my eyes, "Maybe you should have thought about that before you ditched me last night," or maybe you could have helped me up just then, I thought to myself.

He hung his head apologetically and I almost believed he was actually sorry, almost. "Yeah I know," He said rubbing the back of his neck. I was about to ask where he was last night and why he never showed up but he didn't give me a chance to even get a word in before he started talking again, " I've been thinking about how we were when we started going out," I almost laughed in his face but barley stopped myself. A few months ago I would have fallen for his apology and went crawling back to him but now… now I'm just tired of all of the excuses and second chances. I'm tired of them, really, really, tired of them.

"We haven't been that way in a long time," I stated and tried to walk past him, knowing that there was no way I would possibly make it to class on time. His hand flew out and he grabbed my arm, keeping me from leaving the common room. I sighed and turned to face him again.

"But we could be," He said. I rolled my eyes. I cant believe he's actually trying to make me think about how it used to be, about how we used to be, when I know for a fact that he hasn't been thinking about any of that. If he had been than he wouldn't have ditched me last night. He hasn't even really acknowledged that fact yet or really apologized for it. I once again turned away from him but didn't walk out of the common room just yet. I would at least let him finish. I was going to be late for class anyways.

"Come on Dev," He walked up behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist. I shuddered, I never thought I would actually feel uncomfortable with Matt touching me but right now all I want is for him to let go. I felt him lean his head close to me and whisper in my ear, "I know you've been thinking about me."

I grabbed his arms and pulled them off of me, "I've actually had a lot going on lately," I told him, leaving out the fact that it was not Matt but Sirius who I have been thinking about.

"Yeah me too," He agreed, "Justin and Kim were mad about something Kyle said and-" I cut him off.

"I really don't want to hear about this right now," I said impatiently, knowing class had already started. I should have just slept in and skipped my first class. It was potions anyways; I have always been pretty good at that subject so I could have afforded to skip one class.

Matt nodded his head and I could tell that he was trying not to get angry. Not like he had a reason to be mad at me anyways. "Alright, well, how about you come to the party were throwing, It's on the Quidditch pitch at 10:00, maybe we can hang out, invite whoever you want."

I wanted to say no but decided I should probably go. It could be fun, plus Matt said I could invite whomever I want so its not like I really have to hang out with him the whole time. I crossed my arms and answered, "Fine."

Matt smiled but it didn't quite reach his eyes, "I miss us Devyn… I'll see you there."

.

* * *

.

I was right when I thought I was going to be late for class. Potions started half an hour ago and I'm still not in class yet. Professor Slughorn was definitely going to give me a detention. No doubt about it. Usually he's pretty lenient but today is Tuesday and everybody knows Professor Slughorn hates Tuesdays. Nobody really knows why but he does. And even if it wasn't Tuesday it was still the first day of potions class for this year. Not a good start on my part.

I took a deep breath before I walked into his class. Immediately all eyes were on me and there was like thirty people in the class room so that's like sixty eyes. A little nerve-wrecking if you ask me. I tucked a piece of stray hair behind my ear and quickly made my way to an empty table. God, you show up late for class one time and everybody looks at you like you killed somebody.

Professor Slughorn gave me a disapproving look, "Your late," He said in a voice that clearly showed he was anything but happy.

I sighed, "I know, Professor I'm really sorry," I apologized, "It's just that I slept really bad last night and I over slept and then-"

"It's Tuesday," He stated impatiently. I knew this was going to happen. I just knew it. Just my luck.

I frowned, "I know," this guy really needs to go to a psychologist or something because this hatred for Tuesdays cant be normal.

"Detention," He said. I sighed, I knew it was going to happen but it still sucks. I mean detention is bad enough already but with Professor Slughorn its just torture. He never really has anything planned for you to do so he just makes you sit there for three hours staring at your shoes, "Tomorrow night, starting at 8:00. Don't be late Miss. Forest."

Well at least it wasn't tonight. That means I can still go to the party. Not that I was dieing to go or anything but it should be kind of fun. I can't wait to hang out with Molly again; I haven't seen her since last year. I'm sure I'll see her at lunch and dinner today but that doesn't really count as hanging out.

Just as Professor Slughorn was about to continue the lesson that I interrupted the classroom door flew open once again. I spun around in my seat, this time joining the thirty or so people in staring at the person unfortunate enough to come into potions late on a Tuesday.

I was surprised to see it was Sirius, "Sorry professor, I know its Tuesday but-"

Professor Slughorn held up his hand, "No excuses Mr. Black," He said.

"But I-" Sirius started but was once again unable to finish.

"Detention tomorrow at 8:00," Sirius sighed in defeat but still tried to find a good enough excuse.

"Wait, but I just-" He started to say but it didn't seem like Slughorn was ever going to let him get a whole sentence in.

"Once again, no excuses. You will be joining Miss. Forest in detention tomorrow." As soon as he said 'Miss. Forest' Sirius immediately started looking around the class. When his eyes finally met mine I smiled. He smiled back widely.

"Oh, okay," Sirius said, catching Slughorn off guard. He made his way over to where I was sitting and sat down next to me. Maybe this detention wouldn't be so bad.

.

* * *

.

**A/N: Alright so this chapter wasn't that great, it was supposed to be a lot longer but i only had this half finished and i felt bad for not updating in like forever so... here you go. But i promise the next chapter is going to be really good, a lot of stuff is going to be happening. I wont say much but there's going to be a few new friendships and i think a lot of you will be happy with whats going to be happening within the next couple of chapters. I know somebody reviewed about wanting to read some Molly/Kyle moments and i promise i will have a lot of them coming. iv'e been wanting to write about them. I promise the next chapter will be extra, extra long because this one was kinda short. Remember i really appreciate reviews and if you have any ideas, suggestions, or complaints i will totally listen. I'm totally open to writing new people into this story if you have any ideas or just want your own character in here. I'm also open to plot ideas. Thanks for reading! i'm already starting the next chapter!**

**.**

**~Iris Stone**

** Ps. Let me know if i should start doing some chapters in Sirius' point of view, iv'e been thinking about it but i'm not sure if i should.**


	5. More Than A Feeling

_**(If you could only see)**_

_**.**_

* * *

_**.**_

_**Previously on If You Could Only See:**_

_Sirius immediately started looking around the class. When his eyes finally met mine I smiled. He smiled back widely._

_"Oh, okay," Sirius said, catching Slughorn off guard. He made his way over to where I was sitting and sat down next to me. Maybe this detention wouldn't be so bad._

_._

* * *

_._

_**CHAPTER FIVE: MORE THAN A FEELING**_

"Hey Kyle," I said, as I sat myself down for lunch. He looked up and smiled.

"Hi," He greeted, "What's up?"

"Nothing," I said, as I piled food onto my plate, trying to make up for my lack of breakfast.

He raised his eyebrows at the amount of food I got, "Somebody's hungry," he commented.

I nodded my head, "Starving actually," I corrected, "I missed breakfast."

Kyle shook his head, "That was a bad idea, it's the most important meal of the day," He told me in a would be stern voice but the smile on his face ruined the charade.

"Yeah, I know it was a bad idea," I agreed, "and so was being late for class."

He once again raised his eyebrows, "Which class?" he asked curiously.

"Potions," I answered. Kyle looked up at me weirdly.

"On a Tuesday?" he asked furrowing his eyebrows.

I nodded my head regretfully, "Yup."

Kyle shook his head disappointedly, "You should know better." He said, "Do you have a death wish or something?" He added.

I shrugged, "What can I say, I live on the edge,"

Kyle laughed loudly, "Badass, I like it, that's hot," He said, dropping the big brother act.

"Should I be jealous?" I heard a voice say from in front of me. I looked up from my lunch to see Molly standing behind where Kyle was sitting with a huge smile on her face. She was always smiling. I think that's one of the reasons why her and Kyle are so great together. Rather than focusing on the bad things in life they both tend to look on the bright side. I once heard that there's two ways to go through out life. One is as though nothing is a miracle and the other is as if everything is. They definitely go by the latter.

Kyle's face lit up when he saw Molly and he stood up quickly and gave her a kiss. When I'm around Kyle and Molly I feel like it's almost impossible not to smile, not to be happy. But at the same time, there's always that feeling. That feeling that's hiding inside of you and trying with all it's might to get out but you just keep pushing it back in, trying to force it away. That feeling that doesn't really have a name but you can describe it. You know what I'm talking about.

That feeling you get when your around somebody who's happier than they will ever be or you have ever been and although your truly happy for them, and your happy to be a part of this moment, you just know that you will never have the same amount of happiness as them. And it kills you to know that. So you feed off of their happiness and you trick your mind into thinking it's your own. And you pretend like your happy.

Or when you're in a big part of somebody's life when there dreams come true and your so happy for them but then you start to remember that it's their dreams coming true, not yours. And then your moment of happiness slowly starts to fade away while theirs lives on, and your left there smiling when all you really want to do is get away. Just get up and leave so you can save yourself from the painful truth that it's never going to be you.

But you don't leave. You stay and you sit there. Because even if it its not your happiness, it's still happiness, so you'll take what you can get. You stay and you sit there and you listen to their story and you hope that maybe someday some of that happiness will rub off on you. And then you will be happy.

Now do you know what feeling I'm talking about?

Yes? No? Well if you do, that's the feeling that I have when I'm around Molly and Kyle.

Maybe its jealousy. And not necessarily that I'm jealous of them, more like I'm jealous of what they have… of what I've never had.

Kyle and Molly sit down holding hands and I smile. I don't smile because I'm happy, I smile because they're happy. And then suddenly I'm happy. Whether the happiness is real or not I don't know. But it's there… so I'll hold on to it. Keep it. Save it. Use it again someday.

"Why should you be jealous?" Kyle asked Molly innocently.

Molly shrugged, "It could have something to do with the fact that you just called Devyn hot."

Kyle shook his head and started to explain, "No, I said that being a badass was hot… not that she was hot."

I looked at Molly and she smirked at me. That could only mean one thing. We were definitely going to be messing with Kyle. I pretended to look offended and put a hand over my heart, "So you don't think that I'm pretty?" I asked.

Kyle's eyes widened and he looked nervous, "NO!" he said loudly, and then quickly changed his answer to, "Yes!"

I gave him a questioning look, "So which is it?"

Kyle struggled to get his words out correctly, "No… I don't think that you're not pretty."

I furrowed my eyebrows, "What?" I asked, actually confused.

"Alright never mind… let me rephrase that," He said, "Yes… You. Are. Pretty."

I smiled while Molly crossed her arms. I could tell that she was joking but Kyle was so far out of his comfort zone that he couldn't, "So I should be jealous?" she asked again.

"No," Kyle said, now completely flustered, "Devyn's beautiful and I love her like a sister but trust me when I say, I have absolutely no reason to stray." Well said Kyle, well said.

I looked at Molly and we just stared at each other for a couple of seconds before we both fell over with laughter. Kyle looked confused, "When did something funny happen?" he asked.

After a few moments I quit laughing but Molly continued, "You were so nervous," she said and Kyle glared.

"You did that on purpose!" he accused.

Molly nodded, "Your face is so red!" she told him, still laughing.

"That was really mean," He told her and crossed his arms.

Molly kissed his cheek and he immediately smiled, "I'm sorry," she apologized.

"It's fine," He said then motioned for her to fix her plate and start eating. She just reached over and stole some food from his plate while he playfully slapped her hand away. I smiled as I watched them.

After Molly finally decided to really start eating Kyle turned his attention back to me and asked, "So, back to what we were saying before, what did Slughorn do to you?"

"Detention," I sighed, trying to act upset when really I wasn't. I mean Sirius was going to be there so it shouldn't be that bad.

Kyle shuddered, "Oh, that sucks."

I shrugged, "It wont be that bad."

Kyle's eyes widened and he looked at me like I was crazy, "Are you kidding? This is Slughorn were talking about, he's pretty much known for his suckish detentions."

I nodded my head in agreement, "Yeah I guess, I just don't think it's going to be to bad."

Kyle looked at me suspiciously before speaking again, "Okay, what don't I know?"

I looked at him confused, "What do you mean?"

He crossed his arms and said, "I mean what aren't you telling me?"

"Nothing," I lied, not really sure if I should tell him that I would have a good time at detention because I would be hanging out with Sirius when I should be wanting to hang out with Matt.

"You're so lying right now," Kyle said and although he was right I wasn't about to give him the satisfaction.

I put on my best confused face and prepared for a long argument, "No I'm not," I lied again.

"Yeah, you totally are," Kyle could obviously see right through my lies.

"Am not," I replied.

I sighed when Kyle said, "Are to," because I then knew that I was right about this becoming a long argument.

"Am not," I said, hoping that he would just give up.

"Are to," no such luck.

I rolled my eyes, "Okay I'm so not doing this," I said and Kyle smiled widely.

"Alright, cool I won!" he said and I instantly regretted giving in so early, "But anyways… tell me," he added.

I groaned inwardly, "There's nothing to tell!" I assured him, hoping he would just drop the subject.

Of course it wouldn't be that easy, "Yes there is."

I sighed, "No there's not."

"Yes there is," Kyle said while nodding his head, as if to agree with himself.

"Not again Kyle," I said, not wanting to play the 'am not, are too' game again.

He looked slightly apologetic, "Sorry, but come on, I thought we were friends," It's just like Kyle to pull the guilt trick. Stupid jerk.

"We are," I informed him even though he already knew.

"Then tell me," he begged. I looked to Molly for help but she was too busy eating to even realize we were having a conversation.

I guess I'm just going to have to get out of this one on my own, "I would tell you if there was anything to tell but there's not so I wont."

He gave me a weird look, "Okay, if your trying to confuse me into dropping the subject its not going to work."

Well that didn't work, "Damn."

"Tell me," His eyes were practically pleading.

"No!" I told him sternly.

Kyle gave a triumph smirk, "So there is something."

I shook my head quickly, "No there's not."

"Yes there is! I just said 'tell me' to which you replied 'no' which obviously means that there was something to tell." Damn him for being smart. I didn't even pick up on that and I was the one that said it. Molly's Ravenclaw brains must be rubbing off on him.

I glared, "That's not fair! You tricked me."

Kyle was still smirking, "Life isn't fair, now tell me," he demanded.

"Well now your being mean so there's no way I'm going to tell you," I crossed my arms childishly.

"It must be really embarrassing or gross," He said.

"It is not!" I was quick to defend.

For some reason Kyle didn't believe me, "Yeah, I'm almost positive it is."

"Well your wrong," I informed him.

"I'm never wrong," I shook my head.

"Well there's a first for everything," I said. Kyle shut up for a couple seconds and I thought that he was finally dropping the subject until he suddenly spoke very loudly completely catching me off guard.

"I know what it is!" he screamed and Molly looked up from her food with a questioning look on her face.

"No you don't," I told him almost positive that he didn't know that this had anything to do with Sirius.

"Your in love with Slughorn aren't you?" If I were drinking something I would have most definitely spit it all in his face. Kind of like Molly just did. Which would have been very funny if I wasn't so shocked by Kyle's assumption.

He sent a glare Molly's way while he wiped the orange juice off his face with his shirt. Molly and me were both looking at him with wide eyes.

"What!" I asked, my voice clearly showing that I thought he was crazy.

"Oh my God! What did I miss while I was eating. Oh my God, OH MY GOD," Molly said with a look of disgust on her face, obviously believing Kyle. She then turned to me, "Ew, Devyn that's so gross!" for someone so smart she sure was acting stupid.

Kyle nodded at Molly in agreement, seeming to already forgive her for spitting orange juice all in his face, "God, what did Matt say when you told him?"

"Kyle stop it," I said, completely repulsed by the idea of anyone being attracted to Slughorn.

"He must have been heartbroken," He said then muttered something that sounded a lot like 'serves him right' under his breath.

I was started to get impatient, "Seriously Kyle that's not it."

Molly decided to join in the conversation, "But why Slughorn? I mean if your going to go for a teacher, why not aim big? Like Professor Adams? He's good looking." Kyle nodded along with Molly, probably not even noticing that he just admitted that he thought Professor Adams was 'good looking'.

I shuddered at the thought of Professor Adams. At first, yeah he was attractive, but then he just seemed arrogant. I just shrugged, "He seems like a douche."

"And Slughorn is any better?" Kyle asked.

"He's actually pretty nice," I said before realizing that I pretty much just confirmed Kyle's suspicions.

Before I even had the chance to correct myself Kyle instantly started up talking again, "So I was right! Oh my god, I was just kidding around. Merlin Devyn, that's just… ugh, that's just sick."

I waved my hands frantically in a way that most likely made me look like a crazy person, "What? No! Kyle that's not it," I assured him.

"Oh good, thank you Merlin," Molly was the one to answer. She then picked up her orange juice to take another sip and Kyle instantly scooted away.

"I can't believe you thought I was in love with Slughorn," I fake gagged.

"Yeah that would have been weird," Kyle said as he moved close to Molly again once he decided it was safe.

Molly nodded her head in agreement, "And disturbing, not to mention illegal."

"Yeah. So if it's not Slughorn than why are you so excited for detention?" Kyle asked and I groaned. I had almost forgotten about that. Damn Kyle and his great memory.

"I never said I was excited," I corrected, hoping to change the subject.

But Kyle wasn't taking no for an answer, "Stop avoiding the question."

"I'm not!" I said even though I definitely was.

"It is Slughorn, isn't it," Kyle said with a shake of his head and a shudder.

"No! Its somebody else!" I covered my mouth as soon as the words had left my mouth.

"Aha! So it is a someone!" I he smirked, obviously happy that he had solved another part of the mystery.

I shook my head repeatedly but there was no denying it now, "Shit!"

"Who is it?" he asked.

"Nobody," I said stubbornly.

"Who is it?" he asked again just as stubborn.

I crossed my arms, "None of your business."

"Come on just tell me!" he pleaded with those puppy dog eyes that he was so good at. And when I say he was good at them I mean it. It was almost impossible to say no to him. Almost impossible. But not quite.

I looked away quickly, trying not to become trapped by the stupid puppy dog eyes, "Not going to happen."

"Why wont you tell me," God, this boy just doesn't give up does he. For a moment I wondered how Molly possibly put up with him but I quickly dismissed that thought because I remembered what a great guy Kyle actually is.

"Because," was my oh so great argument.

"Because why?" I really wish he would just drop this.

"I'm not going to tell you," I stood my ground… or sat my ground. However you want to put it.

"Just do it!" he demanded.

"No!" I said with a sense of finality in my voice.

That obviously didn't stop him thought, "Why not?"

"Because," I said again, slowly losing my will to fight in this stupid argument anymore. Who care's if Kyle knows that I'm excited to spend time with Sirius. Its not like it's a huge deal or anything, I'm just over reacting. Plus, Kyle and Matt aren't even on the best of terms lately so what could it hurt.

"Because why?" he asked and I finally caved.

"Because it's not Matt!" I said hurriedly and Kyle immediately looked sorry for even asking.

"Oh," he said quietly.

"Yeah," I replied awkwardly.

"So I'm guessing it's…" He trailed off and I already knew that he knew I was talking about Sirius.

"Yeah." I said again, hoping that this would be the end of this discussion.

"Umm okay then. Sorry for asking. I won't bring it up again." He said.

"Its fine." I sighed in relief and gave Kyle a thankful smile for not saying anything further about it.

But just because Kyle decided to drop the subject doesn't mean that everyone would, "Wait! What? No, I want to know." Molly begged.

I shook my head, "It's nothing Molly."

Molly gasped then quietly whispered to me across the table, "Oh my god! Your cheating on Matt aren't you!"

"No! Of course not," I replied, slightly offended that she would think that I would do something like that.

She instantly looked apologetic for the accusation, "then what is it?"

"It's nothing." I said.

"Please," Molly pleaded and I suddenly found out where Kyle learned the puppy dog eyes trick. They really were perfect for each other.

"It's nothing." I repeated at the same time as Kyle said…

"Devyn's excited about detention because it's going to be with Sirius." I glared at Kyle while Molly's eyes widened at that piece of information.

"Kyle!" I yelled.

He put his hands up in surrender, "Sorry! She really wanted to know. She won't tell anyone." He assured me. I knew she wouldn't tell anyone but still…rude. I should have known that he would tell Molly though, considering they tell each other everything. And when I say everything I mean everything.

"Wait. Sirius Black?" Molly asked. I was about to answer with a sarcastic 'do you know any other Sirius'' but Kyle replied before I even opened my mouth.

"Yeah, she wants to have his babies!" He said and I instantly reached across the table and smacked him in the arm.

"Really Kyle?" I asked, trying to be angry but not really doing a good job of it.

Molly just ignored Kyle and continued questioning me, "When did this happen?"

I shrugged, "recently."

"Well, you should go for it, he's much better than Matt." Molly's never really liked Matt and she has always made that very clear. Actually she liked him at first but then Justin came along and you know the rest…

"Yeah, I know Matt's my supposed best friend and all but Sirius is a nice guy so if you want to be with him I wont say anything," it actually meant a lot that Kyle would be willing to do that for me. Especially if it meant that he was taking my side over Matt's.

I smiled slightly, "Okay."

"Aww! Devyn's in looovee," Molly said and I could feel my face instantly start heating up. Sure I found Sirius attractive and he was sweet and funny and over all a lot more appealing than Matt but I definitely was not in love. I mean I've known him for all of what… two days?

"Am not!" I said, decided that denying it would be the best route to take even thought I could feel my cheeks turning red.

"Look, she's blushing!" Kyle said and I glared.

"I'm going to the common room," I said.

Kyle stopped me when I tried to stand up, "Wait, What about Charms?" he asked.

"What about charms?" I asked, not really caring about skipping.

Molly on the other hand had a whole different view on classes, "You can't just skip," she informed me like a true Ravenclaw.

"It's my last class of the day, plus none of the professors have really given us any work considering it's the first day and all."

"Alright well I'll let you off this time but don't let it happen again," Molly jokingly gave me a stern look. Some people might think that it's annoying how she acts about going to class but she had gotten prefect this year and she's really excited about it and she just wants to do her job right. So I don't blame her. Kyle was so proud of her when she told him that she got it even though we all knew that it was going to happen. I mean she's a year below all of us and probably ten times smarter.

.

* * *

.

I walked into the almost empty common room and was met with a happy sight. Remus was out of the hospital wing and aside from looking slightly tired, well more like really tired, he seemed to be completely healthy. Good for him, the poor boy deserved it.

He and Peter were playing a game of chess and Peter seemed to be winning easily. So either Remus was just really tired and wasn't up for the game or Peter was really good at chess. James and Sirius were both sitting around them, James on one of the big comfy chairs and Sirius on the couch that I had been sleeping on earlier this morning. They were both reading books, which surprised me a little.

I looked away from their little group and began to walk away, that feeling that I get when I'm around Molly and Kyle slowly starting to form.

I was only about three steps away from them when I heard my name being called out, "Hey! Devyn!" I knew the voice wasn't Sirius and when I turned around I was surprised to see that it was James who had called me. Sirius immediately turned around at the mention of my name and smiled brightly at me.

I smiled back and James continued speaking, "Come sit with us!" he offered and to say I was surprised would be an understatement. I don't think James and me have ever even had a real conversation.

"Okay," I slowly made my way over and just stood there awkwardly.

"Well don't just stand there, sit down!" James said and Sirius patted the space on the couch next to him. Although there was tons of room on the couch I sat as close to Sirius as I could without making it seem weird. He smiled and rested his arm on the couch behind me.

"Hey," he said still smiling.

"Hi," I replied and scooted a little closer hoping that nobody noticed. James definitely noticed but he didn't say anything, he simply raised an eyebrow but otherwise dropped it. I was extremely thankful for that. I looked over at Peter and Remus to see that they had just finished up their game of chess, Peter winning by a landslide.

"Are you felling better?" I asked Remus not really knowing what else to say. He smiled widely and nodded.

"Loads!" he replied, " Sirius told me that you asked about how I was doing, I really appreciate it! Thanks." I smiled, Remus is so sweet. It's really no wonder that all the girls love him.

"Your welcome," I said then turned towards Peter, "Hello," I greeted him and he gave me a smile.

"It's nice to meet you," He said and I instantly felt bad about thinking he was creepy all this time, I never even really knew him and I judged him, "I've heard a lot about you."

I raised my eyebrows at that and turned my head to look at Sirius, he was pretending to be reading his book intently, "Is that so?" I asked Peter.

James was the one to answer, "Yeah, all night long your all Sirius would talk about," I tried really hard not to smile but I could help the grin that formed on my lips, " I mean, I'm sure your great and all but honestly, 'Devyn this' and 'Devyn that' tends to get slightly annoying after awhile."

Sirius finally decided to speak up, "Okay, I was not that bad and she was not all that I talked about!" Sirius said and James scoffed.

"Yeah right!" Remus said, "Nobody else could barley even get a word in." I was now full out smiling and Sirius was blushing like crazy. I kind of felt bad so I decided to change the subject.

"What are you reading?" I asked and I immediately saw the relief in his eyes.

"The Outsiders," he said and I instantly became excited.

"Oh!" I said, "That's my favorite book." I love The Outsiders, I don't know why but I always just feel so happy when I read it.

"Mine too!" He replied with a smile, "I've read it at least a hundred times," as have I, I thought.

I looked over to see the book that James had been reading was about Qudditch…figures.

"So," Remus said, "Do you not have class?"

"I skipped," I answered with a shrug hoping that Remus wouldn't say anything about it. He is a prefect after all.

"Nice! She's a keeper Sirius," James said and now it was my turn to blush.

"Stop it…" Sirius warned them but the three other boys just laughed and continued to imply things, "Come on, let's go work on our project," Sirius said and I could tell he was annoyed. He stood and offered me his hand to help me up. I smiled at the nice gesture, knowing it was something that Matt would never do. Sirius led me around the couch and towards the steps that led to the dorm rooms.

"Where are you going?" James spoke up.

I looked up at Sirius curiously. I had actually been wondering the same thing, "Our dorm," He answered as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. We were going to his dorm. Alone. I was instantly nervous and like I said before, I have a lot of trouble acting normal when I'm nervous. I heard his friends wolf whistling behind us and I was once again blushing like mad.

"Hey," I said just as we were about to climb the steps, "Can I go change first?" I asked, thinking that would be the best excuse to get away for a couple of seconds.

"Yeah, sure," he nodded and I stepped towards the girls staircase before realizing that we were still holding hands. My blush grew redder as I stared at our hands. Sirius followed my gaze.

"Oh, yeah, right, sorry," he said as he let go of my hand.

I shook my head, "Don't be." I practically ran up the stairs and threw my door open. There was nobody else in here. Good. Now I can calm down my nerves in peace. Alright deep breaths Devyn. In. Out. In. Out. Good, much better.

I put down all my schoolbooks and stuff and got ready to head out the door before I realized something. Now I actually have to change. It would be weird if I left to go change and then came back wearing the same thing. I headed towards my clothes and taped my chin gently. What to wear, what to wear. I wanted to look good but not like I was trying to hard. After all I do still have a boyfriend. Maybe I'll break up with him at the party. Yeah, that's a good idea. Actually maybe after the party. Anyways back to the problem at hand. Clothes.

I dug through my shirts until I found the right one. A white tank top that was lacy at the top and showed just enough with out showing too much. I then threw on a pair of tight jeans and let my dark wavy hair down. I was walking out of the door when I remembered something. Makeup. I was in such a rush this morning that I didn't even have time to put any on. I ran to the bathroom and put on my usual light amount of make up. A little bit of stuff under my eyes, eyeliner, and lipstick. There. Perfect.

I once again headed out the door, grabbing my project packet on the way out. I walked down our stairs and up the boys until I came face to face with his door. Now what? Do I just walk in or do I knock. I was invited so I assume that I should just walk in but he could be changing or something. Not that I would mind seeing Sirius shirtless or anything. With that thought in mind I just opened the door and stepped in.

Yep. I was right. Definitely changing. And I sure as hell didn't mind seeing him shirtless. He was standing facing away from me so all I could see was his back but it's a very, very nice back if I have to admit. He had a tattoo to. It was of a dog foot print. Kind of weird but I'm sure there's some story behind it. A story that I intend to find out some day.

"Oh, Sorry," I said to make it seem as if I had just walked in when really I had been standing there for about twenty seconds. Sirius turned around quickly and my eyes immediately traveled down his body. And what a nice body it was. God I wish I would have broken up with Matt already.

"It's fine," he said with a smile. I know he saw me staring but he was too much of a gentleman to call me out on it. I really appreciated that.

"Well, don't be scared. You can come all the way in," he motioned for me to follow him and he sat down on his bed. Still not wearing a shirt. I mean I know that's normal for guys but come on! Was he trying to torture me? He patted the space beside him and I sat down.

"So," I said after a few minutes of silence.

"So," Sirius repeated.

I looked around for something to say when I remembered the packet in my hands, "The project," I reminded him.

"Oh, right," He said then reached over and grabbed his own packet off of his nightstand.

.

* * *

.

**A/N: Okay so I lied, next chapter is going to be the exciting one. This was the second half of the last chapter. Sorry if it was a little boring but i promise next chapter will be so much better! ****Remember i really appreciate reviews and if you have any ideas, suggestions, or complaints i will totally listen. I'm totally open to writing new people into this story if you have any ideas or just want your own character in here. I'm also open to plot ideas. Thanks for reading!**

**~ Iris Stone**


	6. Should I Stay Or Should I Go

_**(If you could only see)**_

_**.**_

* * *

_**.**_

_**Previously on If You Could Only See:**_

"_Alright, well, how about you come to the party were throwing, It's on the Quidditch pitch at 10:00, maybe we can hang out, invite whoever you want."_

…

"_Well, don't be scared. You can come all the way in," he motioned for me to follow him and he sat down on his bed. Still not wearing a shirt. I mean I know that's normal for guys but come on! Was he trying to torture me? He patted the space beside him and I sat down. _

_I looked around for something to say when I remembered the packet in my hands, "The project," I reminded him. _

"_Oh, right," He said then reached over and grabbed his own packet off of his nightstand._

_._

* * *

_._

**_CHAPTER SIX: SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO_**

**_._**

"Umm, okay, were on question….. 53 right?" Sirius asked. I flipped through the pages of my packet and nodded when I was sure that was the number we were on, " Umm, what was your childhood nickname?"

I smiled slightly, "Baby Sean," I said. It's actually still my nickname when I go home.

"Why?" Sirius asked as he wrote down my answer.

"Well…." I thought.

* * *

FLASHBACK: (Twelve Years Ago)

_I ran out of my room in my Batman pajamas when I smelled something yummy. I wonder what it is! I hope Seany cooked for me today! Seany is the best cook in the whole wide world. He's the best big brother too! When I grow up I'm going to be just like him._

_"Yayyy!" I screamed and climbed onto the super tall chair at our table, "Something smells happy!"_

_Seany was standing there with his best friend Josh with a big smile on his face, "Well I would hope so Little Lady! Because I just got up extra early to make you some of my famous French toast!" I bounced up and down in my seat excitedly._

_"Yay Yay Yay! It's totally good Seany, thanks!" I said before he even brought the plate over to me. I already knew it was going to be yummy._

_My Seany shook his head and smiled, "You haven't even tried it yet silly!" _

_My eyes got really big when he set the plate down in front of me, "But I already know it's delicious!" I took a big big big bite and smiled after I swallowed it, "Yummy, see delicious!" I finished all my food really fast while talking to my Seany and Josh. My mommy and Daddy walked in when I was half way done eating _

_"So," he said right when I was done, "What's your day like today, Little Lady?" _

_I shrugged, "Mostly just playing!"_

_Seany and Josh looked at each other for a few seconds then turned back to me, "How about you come to the park with us today?" I started clapping._

_"Really," I smiled widely, "you mean it!"_

_Josh nodded his head, "Yeah!" he said excitedly, "We love hanging out with you Kiddo," Josh always called me Kiddo._

_I spun around and looked at mommy with the best puppy dog eyes ever, "Can I go mama! Please, Can I go!"_

_Mom looked at me with an upside-down smiley, "Well sweetie…" She started and I knew that was a bad sign._

_So I held up my hands and made her stop talking, "Say yes mama, Pleassseee!"_

_She shook her head slowly and I could feel my eyes getting wet, "I don't know."_

_"Aww, just for a little bit, come on, pleaasseeee!" I begged, hoping my mommy would understand! I just wanna hang out with Seany._

_Seany decided to help me, "Yeah mom, Pleassseee," he whined._

_My momma looked at my daddy for a little bit and he ended up nodding, "It's fine with me," he said in a deep voice._

_My mama sighed, "Alright I guess so, but don't stay out long and be back for lunch," I jumped up and kissed Mama on the cheek._

_"Thanks Mama! I L.O.V.E you!" I decided to spell love because I'm grown up now so I need to learn how to spell better. I mean I am almost six!_

_My mommy smiled, "I love you too." _

_I ran back down stairs after getting ready but tripped over my, well Seany's, basketball shorts on the way down. I decided that if I was going to go out with Seany and Josh I had to look cool. And my big brother is cool so I have to dress like him. I want to be just like him._

"_Look Seany!" I screamed as he helped me up off the ground, "I'm wearing your clothes. Don't I look cool!"_

"_You do look cool," Josh said at the same time as Seany said, "Oh my goodness, you look more like me than I do!"_

_I smiled brightly at that, "But I think it might be a little big Kiddo," Josh said._

_I looked up with wide eyes then down at my new outfit. My, Seanys, shirt went down to my ankles and so did his basketball shorts. The hat that I borrowed was falling over my eyes. Seany's six whole years older than me so he was a lot bigger than me._

_I shook my head stubbornly, "What are you talking about, it's PERFECT!"_

_Josh just laughed, "Haha, you're a cute kid."_

_I smiled, "Thank you," then Seany put me on his back._

"_No problem Baby Sean." I grinned widely at the nickname._

_And that's how it happened._

END OF FLASHBACK.

* * *

"That's cute," Sirius said and I blushed. And to tell you the truth, I don't think I was blushing because of his comment. I think it had more to do with the fact that he sort of called me cute while we were in his dorm. Alone, might I add. As in nobody else was there. Just me and him, him and me. All alone, in his big empty dorm… sitting on his bed. Oh and did I forget to mention that he's not wearing a shirt. Well just in case I did forget, he's not wearing a shirt. And trust me when I say the boy is fit, like really really fit. I mean seriously, couldn't he have just saved me the embarrassment of staring and practically drooling over him and just put a shirt on. And I'm not complaining about the view by any means. Because I like the view. I really like the view. I just wish that I could enjoy the view a couple weeks from now. You know, after I've broken up with Matt and spent the right amount of time getting over him and being single so that I didn't seem like too much of a slut by moving on to fast. Yes, a few weeks from now would be good but now… not so much. I just feel so dirty when I think about all the things we could be doing on this bed right now besides this stupid project. And I wouldn't have to feel dirty if I didn't have a stupid boyfriend.

"Devyn, Devyn," I heard someone say distantly, threatening to pull me out of my thoughts, "Dev. Hey, Devyn!" I snapped out of my daze and noticed that Sirius had been waving his hand in front of my face.

"Huh, oh, I, I'm sorry, what?" I asked before I realized that I had probably been staring at him. Like… for a long time. Especially if he had to resort to waving his hand in front of my face. Oh my God. Oh. My. God. That's so embarrassing. I thought I had only been staring at him for a couple of seconds. He probably thinks I'm such a creep now! But technically it's his own fault; I mean he is the one that decided not to wear a freaking shirt. So I'm totally innocent in this situation. Here I was just minding my own business when BAM! Sirius decided that it was 'lets walk around half naked day'. So yeah, it makes the most sense just to blame him. That's what I'll do when he confronts me about it. Blame it all on him.

"Are you alright?" he asked and I was suddenly confused. Was he not going to say anything about me practically eye raping him? "You spaced out there for a few minutes."

Wait… maybe he didn't even notice. I probably just did all that worrying for nothing. But just in case, I have to play it cool, "Um, Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm… I'm fine… great actually, never been better!" I mentally face palmed myself as soon as those words fell from my lips. Way to play it cool Devyn. Way to play it cool. Note the sarcasm.

Sirius raised his eyebrows, "Umm, okay, you sure?" He asked and I nodded my head quickly.

"Yeah, positive. Lets just, umm, lets just… OH! What was you childhood nickname?" I asked glad that I had finally found a subject changer. That was until Sirius started laughing. Now I'm confused, "What?" He just kept on laughing, "What's so funny?"

Sirius just shook his head, "I already answered that," he informed me and I instantly felt my face turn beat red. How could I have possibly not heard that? That's not possible. There's no way.

"What? Really…" I said and he just nodded while still chuckling a little, "Oh, sorry, I was… well I was umm… just… I was…" I trailed off, not knowing what to say. But that didn't seem to be a problem for Sirius seeing as he just finished my sentence for me.

"To busy checking me out?" He said with a smile and my eyes went wide. Okay so maybe he did notice, no big deal. Just deny.

"What?!… No!… That was… That's not what I was going to say," I said a little to quickly and he just smiled wider. He has a really nice smile.

"Yeah, well, It's definitely what you were doing," Okay so maybe the denying thing wasn't working out to well.

"I was not!" I tried again but knew it was a lost cause.

Sirius just crossed his arms and nodded, "You were to!" he accused, "Don't deny it Devyn," Okay so the denying thing _definitely _wasn't working, "You think I'm sexy."

Well that I was not going to deny. Sirius is very sexy. I wish I could have shown him just how sexy I thought he was but that would probably be inappropriate due to the whole 'I have a boyfriend' issue, "Yeah well… Put a damn shirt on!" I said instead and secretly hoped that he wouldn't listen to me and just stay shirtless.

"Ha!" Sirius said and threw his hands up in victory, "So you were checking me out!" He looked so excited that I couldn't deny it anymore.

"You know what," I was now smiling just as wide as he was, "Yeah, I was checking you out." I don't understand why Sirius would get so excited about me checking him out. I mean I cant be the only girl who has taken notice to how hot he is. He should be used to girls staring at him.

"Great," Sirius said happily and I arched an eyebrow but didn't say anything else on the subject.

"So… Since I got so distracted by your… incredibly fit body," I started to say and Sirius smirked proudly, "and missed your answer… What was your childhood nickname?"

Still smiling he answered, "Well, I didn't really have a childhood nickname but James, Remus, and Peter call me padfoot," he told me and I thought back to the tattoo on his back that I saw earlier.

"Because of your tattoo?" I asked while searching in his sheets for my pen that I must have dropped at some point.

"Umm… Kind of… it's a long story actually, maybe I'll tell you some day," He said distantly, obviously distracted by whatever I was doing, "What are you looking for?" He finally asked.

"Oh," I said, "I dropped my pen and now I can't find it," I told him and he instantly started to help me look around for it. After about two minutes of crawling around and throwing pillows and sheets all over the place Sirius found it.

"There it is," He said, his voice coming from some place behind me. Just as I was turning around to look for it, he leaned forward to grab it for me and we bumped into each other. I mumbled a sorry and looked up to see his eyes and realized just how close we were to each other. I was suddenly aware of his entire body pressing up against mine and I immediately froze, as did he. His face was inches from mine and I could feel his breath across my lips. Hesitantly, he placed his hands on my hips, my pen lying forgotten somewhere on his bed.

I don't really know who started to lean in first but at that moment it didn't really matter. Sirius was about to kiss me. That's what mattered. I tried to pull away but for some reason I couldn't bring myself to. And then I tried to think of Matt but for some reason I couldn't even remember him. It's like my mind was completely blocking him out and in that moment Sirius was the only guy who existed. The only person who existed. The only person who mattered.

And with that thought I closed my eyes and made a decision. The decision to close the gap that separated us. And believe me when I say that is what I fully intended to do… before the door to his dorm swung open. We jumped apart before the kiss could happen and there stood James.

"Oh!" He said surprised at our closeness, and then he seemed to realize what he just walked in on. Or what he would have walked in on if he would of waited about five more minutes, "Oh… OH! Oh God… Sorry, I didn't… I didn't mean to. I'm just… I'm going to go over… away," He finished before making his way back out of the door.

I looked over at Sirius to see his face completely red and realized that mine must have looked just as bad, if not worse. Then I realized that if James left this would be completely awkward and that… I could not deal with, "NO! Wait! Stay! You should… you should stay," I called out to James before he had a chance to leave.

He turned around, "You sure?" he asked. But he wasn't asking me, he was looking at Sirius. I turned to Sirius hoping to get his attention but found that he was already looking at me. He blushed slightly, probably embarrassed that I caught him staring at me, and I smiled.

"Yeah," Sirius nodded, still looking at me, "you should stay."

"Okay then," James said, slowly making his way back into the room but leaving the door cracked, " if you guys don't mind, Peter, Lily, and Peyton were all going to come up here so we could all work on this project together."

I nodded while Sirius said, "Yeah, that's cool."

"Alright, great," James replied while scratching the back of his neck. We all sat there in silence before James started up again, "Look, again, I'm really sorry. If I would have know then I wouldn't have even come up…"

"No, it's fine, don't say sorry," I told him with a wave of my hand. To be honest, I'm thankful he came up here. I mean seriously… What the hell was I thinking? I have a boyfriend. A freaking boyfriend. And I'm not that kind of girl. In fact… I hate that kind of girl. What's wrong with me, how could I even think of cheating on Matt? He deserved better than that. He may be acting like an ass now but that's all Justin's influence. He really is a good guy. He used to be a great guy. And thinking about it right now… I'm the one who deserves to be dumped. Matt may be a douche sometimes, well most of the time, but he's never cheated on me. At least not to my knowledge. And here I was, trying to justify my feelings for Sirius by thinking about how horrible of a boyfriend Matt is when in reality… I'm actually a horrible girlfriend. God, I'm such a hypocrite.

How did I not notice this earlier? Our relationship sucks. Were not good together anymore. We just aren't. Neither one of us even really likes each other anymore but we just keep pretending and putting off breaking up with each other because although we don't like each other in the relationship kind of way anymore, neither one of us wants to be the one to throw away the friendship we've had for years. Neither one of us is willing to risk that. So now were just stuck here, standing still. We're not allowing ourselves to move on. We're making ourselves miserable.

I have to break up with him. Tonight. I can't put it off anymore. Neither one of us deserves this. We're turning ourselves into bad people just because we don't want to hurt the other. And by not hurting each other… we're actually still hurting each other. And the last thing I want is to be hurt or live with a guilty conscience for hurting Matt.

"Alright," James said and instantly snapped out of my thoughts, "I wont say sorry but I feel really awkward right now so next time… put a sock on the door or something." And now I definitely feel guilty… and awkward. Thanks James, thanks a lot. And what makes it worse is that Sirius just laughed. And I know what your thinking… How does him laughing make it worse? Well, because it shows that he doesn't have to feel guilty about what almost just happened. He doesn't have a girlfriend that he almost cheated on. He's such a good guy and right now it's really annoying me. Plus, he knows that I have a boyfriend, which means he knows that I was about to cheat on my boyfriend. Now you tell me, what kind of guy would want to date a girl who they know is a cheater? Nobody! That's who. So even if I do break up with Matt tonight, which I will, Sirius could never like me. He probably thinks I'm a slut. I haven't even known him for that long and here I am, throwing myself at him while I have a boyfriend. And I know nothing really happened, but to be honest I wanted something to happen. And you know what they say… it's the thought that counts.

"I'll try to remember that," Sirius replied. James looked like he was about to say something more but the others walked in before he had the chance to.

"Hey," Peter said with a wave, "We're still working on the thing, right?" he asked and James nodded, "Alright, cool." The three of them: Peter, Lily, and Peyton, then walked in and joined James on the floor. I was grateful that James was the one that walked in on us and that he was alone because otherwise things would have been a lot more awkward and Matt definitely would have found out. Great, now I have something to hide from him. I feel like such a bad person…correction, I am such a bad person.

Me and Sirius looked at each other nervously for a couple of seconds before looking towards everybody else.

"Hi," I waved awkwardly. Sirius was the only person in here right now that I actually knew so you can understand how I would feel slightly out of place. Peyton probably feels awkward too.

"Hey," she said back and I smiled gratefully. Maybe we could feel awkward and uncomfortable together.

"Soo," Lily said once everyone had their packets ready, "We should start, yeah?"

"Yeah, good idea Lily!" James said eagerly.

She just rolled her eyes, "Thanks Potter," she said and that made me slightly annoyed. I mean James seems like a really cool guy. I just don't understand why she has to be so mean to him, she should just give him a chance.

James smiled from ear to ear, "Your welcome Lily."

She just rolled her eyes again and picked up her packet, "We should start from the last question because were probably all on a different number right now."

We all nodded our heads, "That's really smart Lily," James said and I couldn't help myself… I had to laugh. He was so cute, like a lost puppy. And I wasn't the only one laughing, Peyton laughed too. The others just looked at us like we were crazy but we just kept on laughing. They were probably just used to the way James acted around Lily but since me and Peyton were kind of outsiders to this group, his… sucking up, for lack of a better word, was new and kind of funny.

"I don't get it," Peter was clearly confused.

"Yeah, don't feel bad Peter, I don't either," Sirius said with his eyebrows furrowed. James and Lily also seemed to be lost with the conversation.

I tried to stop laughing long enough to tell them what we thought was so funny but one look at Peyton trying to hold in her laughter and I was set off again. I shook my head, "It's…nothing." I said through laughs

"Yeah," Peyton agreed, "No big deal."

"Okaaaay…. Anyways," Lily said. She probably thought we were crazy but I honestly couldn't care less, "If a question is to personal then I think we should skip it and answer it later when its just you and your partner," We all nodded our heads in agreement.

"Yeah," James was nodding his head repeatedly, "I agree with Lily." I immediately looked to Peyton who did the same. We were both biting our lips to keep from laughing again. That boy just doesn't give up.

"Alright… Last question is, umm," Peter started, "What was your first pet? Well that's easy… We had a cat named Chubbles," He answered and we all started to laugh.

"Chubbles? Really?" Peyton asked.

"Yup!" Peter said proudly, not at all embarrassed about the fact that we were all laughing at him.

"Did you name him?" James asked with an arched eyebrow.

Peter seemed to be really confused by the question, "Yeah, why, what's wrong with that?"

Sirius just shook his head, "That's weird man."

Peter frowned slightly and I started to feel bad so I decided to change the subject, "Well my first pet was a dog and his name is Max!" I loved my dog. Well technically Max is Sean's dog but still, I consider him mine too.

"So you like dog's?" Sirius asked excitedly.

I nodded, "Yeah, I love dogs…there my favorite animal ever."

James laughed, "That's interesting."

"How so?" I asked curiously.

"Just is," was his vague reply, "What was your first pet Lily?"

Lily tilted her head to the side slightly, "Umm, mine was a dog too but I can't remember his name, I think it… Oh! Ramer, his name was Ramer."

James nodded and wrote that down, "I had an owl named owl… I wasn't a very creative kid," he said. We all laughed at that… even Lily.

Sirius answered next, "I had an owl named Mr. Hoot," I wrote that down while Peyton answered.

"My first pet was a snake, his… well I think it was a he, but anyways, his name was Archie," My eyes widened.

"You had a pet snake!" I asked. She nodded, "That's awesome."

Peter furrowed his eyebrows, "A pet snake? That's Slytherin's thing… is your family like really pureblood or something?" he asked.

Peyton rolled her eyes, "Well considering I'm a muggle born I'm going to have to say no to that one," I laughed slightly at that. I like Peyton. I wish I would have talked to her sooner, I feel like we could have been real good friends.

"Okay," I said, "Next question, what is the most…" I read off the next question. We all answered about two more pages before my stomach growled. Really loudly. I mean like, embarrassingly loud.

"We should go get dinner," Peter said and I nodded enthusiastically.

"That's a great idea Peter," I told him, not realizing how hungry I was until now.

"Yeah let's go," James stood up then offered his hand to Lily, who ignored it and helped herself up, "Walk you to the great hall?" he offered but she rolled her eyes. Wow, she does that a lot.

"I can walk myself," She told him and then turned towards the door and started to walk away.

"Great," James said with a huge smile, "then you can walk me too!" I couldn't help but smile. That boy was never going to give up, never. Personally I thought it was cute. What kind of girl wouldn't want a guy who practically worships the ground she walks on.

"Oh, hey, wait, before you guys go," I stopped them, suddenly remembering something, "Matt's having this party thing out on the quidditch field tonight and he told me I could invite who ever I want so if you guys want to come," I gestured to everybody, "Then I would really like it if you did."

"I was already invited," Lily said but smiled nonetheless, "But thanks anyways, it was nice of you to ask." Alright so I don't see us ever being best friends but maybe she wasn't that bad.

"So you're going," James said to Lily. She nodded her head reluctantly, knowing that James was obviously going to go now, "I'm there! Thanks for the invite Devyn, your awesome," he said before pulling Lily out of the door and heading toward the great hall, I'm guessing.

"What about you guys?" I asked the others once James and Lily were gone.

"I cant," Peter said sadly, "Me and Remus have detention… Speaking of which, I wonder where he is," He then walked out of the room, probably in search of Remus. I wondered what they had detention for but didn't ask. It was none of my business anyways.

"Umm, I'll go… it could be fun I guess," Peyton agreed then looked at Sirius, "Hey, do you mind if I use your bathroom?" she asked and he shook his head.

"Not at all, go right ahead but, uh, ignore the mess," he said. Peyton laughed slightly then walked into the bathroom.

I focused my attention on Sirius and then nervously asked, "So… are you going to come?" I hope I didn't sound to hopeful.

He looked hesitant, "Are you sure Matt's going to want me there?" Great, now I'm going to start feeling guilty all over again. But I am breaking up with him so it's not like inviting Sirius to the party is going to be that big of a deal.

I shrugged, "Who cares," I asked, knowing that I was going to break up with Matt tonight anyways, "Plus, even if he doesn't want you there, I still want you there," I said then mentally cursed myself for saying that out loud. Now I really sound like a slut.

"Really?" He smiled and looked down at his shoes. Okay, maybe he didn't think it was slutty. Well there's no taking it back now.

"Yeah," I smiled back, "It wouldn't be any fun with out you." God, it's like I had word vomit or something. I should just glue my mouth shut. That's probably my best option.

"Well," he said, "If you insist."

I nodded my head, "I do, now you better come or my feelings will be hurt."

"Consider me there," He said. Soon after Peyton walked out of the bathroom and we all decided to walk down to the great hall together. Just as we were walking out of the door I looked at Sirius and laughed. Peyton followed my line of vision and laughed as well.

"Hey Sirius," I said.

He turned to me, "Yeah?" he asked.

"If your planning on going down to the great hall then I would suggest putting on a shirt," He looked down at himself and blushed. He must have completely forgotten that he wasn't wearing one.

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**A/N: Okay so this is probably my worst chapter yet but i really needed to get something updated because it's been awhile... sorry about that. So i know i said that last chapter was going to be exciting and then i said that it was going to be this one but it's actually the next one! i'm not lying this time, i swear. Next chapter is going to be the party and your going to see a side of a lot of people that we haven't seen yet. I'm sure you guys will love and hate that chapter at the same time! ********Remember i really appreciate reviews and if you have any ideas, suggestions, or complaints i will totally listen. I'm totally open to writing new people into this story if you have any ideas or just want your own character in here. I'm also open to plot ideas. Thanks for reading!**

**.**

**~Iris Stone**

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**PLEASE READ THIS PART**

**PS. I have been asked to make this story AU (as in James and Lily don't die, Sirius doesn't go to azkaban and so on) And i know i always ask for ideas and suggestions so everybody let me know what you think about that please! I was planning on ending this one before James and Lily die and then writing an AU sequel for who ever wanted to read it but I don't know so just let me know your opinion! **

**Thanks, i really appreciate you taking the time to read this. Alright i'm done now!**


	7. Thorn In My Pride

**(If You Could Only See)**

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_**Previously on If You Could Only See:**_

_I don't really know who started to lean in first but at that moment it didn't really matter. Sirius was about to kiss me. That's what mattered. I tried to pull away but for some reason I couldn't bring myself to. And then I tried to think of Matt but for some reason I couldn't even remember him. It's like my mind was completely blocking him out and in that moment Sirius was the only guy who existed. The only person who existed. The only person who mattered. And with that thought I closed my eyes and made a decision. The decision to close the gap that separated us. And believe me when I say that is what I fully intended to do…_

…

"_Oh, hey, wait, before you guys go," I stopped them, suddenly remembering something, "Matt's having this party thing out on the quidditch field tonight and he told me I could invite who ever I want so if you guys want to come," I gestured to everybody, "Then I would really like it if you did."_

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**CHAPTER SEVEN: THORN IN MY PRIDE**

**Part One**

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I can't find Matt anywhere. I've been walking around this stupid party forever looking for him and… nothing. Nowhere. God, for someone who wanted me to come to this party so bad, he sure isn't making an effort to spend time with me. But on the other hand, he is hosting the party. It's not like I'm the only one who he needs to pay attention to. I shouldn't be so clingy. Plus, I invited people so I should just go hang out with them and when Matt isn't so busy then he can come and find me. Then we can talk. Finally. I'm pretty sure he's ready to end this too.

Don't get me wrong though, I still love Matt, but I'm not _in_ love with him. Not anymore. There was a time when my entire world revolved around him. Yes, I was one of those girls. That's probably why I've never really had friends here. I was always so satisfied with just Matt that I never even bothered to meet other friends. I didn't think I needed anybody else. Now that Matt's slipping away, I realize that that was a mistake. I do need other people. And I think I'm finally getting that.

Speaking of new friends, one of the people who I invited happens to be arriving right now and I would be a hypocrite to my own thoughts if I didn't say hello. Which, of course, I would have done regardless.

I smiled brightly, excited to finally have something to do other than look around for Matt, and made my way over. When I finally reached him, he smiled, "Hey Devyn," he said, while leading us over to some logs that were put off to the side for people to sit on.

"Hey Sirius," I followed his lead and sat down next to him, close enough so that the side of our arms were lightly brushing against each other, but far enough away so that anyone passing by wouldn't think anything of it.

We both just sat there, silently. I was continuously searching through my mind, trying to think of something interesting to say. Anything at all. And nothing. Absolutely nothing. My mind was at a complete blank. Why do I always have to make an idiot of myself whenever I'm around him? It's like my minds thinking 'Oh hey, Sirius is around, time to act like a complete moron'.

I was about to start freaking out until I realized something. We may have been sitting in silence but for the first time in a long time it wasn't an awkward silence. I was completely comfortable just sitting here. I was completely comfortable with not saying anything. I was completely comfortable with Sirius. And that felt good.

"Can I ask you a personal question?" Sirius asked me. Oh great. So much for the comfortable silence. You always know something bad is coming when someone asks that… can I ask you a personal question. I don't even get why people ask that first anyways. It's like their thinking, 'I'm already going to ask you a question that is going to completely invade your privacy and make you extremely uncomfortable but I thought I would just warn you before hand, you know… give you a little time to freak out about it and all.'

I took a deep breath and nodded my head slowly, afraid of what he might ask, "Um, yeah, sure, go ahead."

"Well," He scratched the back of his neck nervously… okay good, that means that he's nervous too. I can work with that, "I was just wondering, umm… are you, you know… happy with Matt?"

Okay… Well that was not at all what I was expecting. And it wasn't too personal. Plus, the question did bring something to my attention. When did I _start_ to become unhappy with Matt? We started out as really good friends in the beginning of fourth year, or more like the summer before fourth year. Right around the time my mom and Kyle's brother died. We met at the hospital. Surprisingly it was a muggle hospital. As I had mentioned before I'm a muggle born but Kyle's a half-blood. His brother had apparently gotten some horrible disease that the wizarding world hadn't found a cure for yet. The muggle world hadn't either but taking him to the hospital was at least worth a try. It didn't help though. From what Matt's told me he just got worse and worse until everyone was just praying that he would die. It's sad but they just wanted him out of his misery. He was only 16.

His name was Brandon. Brandon Hastings. And I wouldn't be the first girl to admit that he was the very first guy I ever fancied. I had only spoken to him a couple of times and that was mainly due to the fact that he was a prefect, but from the second I heard his voice… I thought I was in love. Brandon Hastings was the definition of Perfect. He was every girls dream. I mean, I'm not even exaggerating when I say he was the nicest guy I ever met. And he loved his little brother. Kyle was his whole world. He always kept him out of trouble and made sure that he was respectful to teachers and nice to everybody and ate all of his food and he was always just…there. No matter what. Kyle was his first priority. Any time Brandon and his friends went to Hogsmead he would always bring something back for Kyle.

Its like his whole life revolved around looking out for his little brother. Actually that's a lie. A big portion of his life revolved around that but another thing that meant a lot to him was Lyla Dawson. I guess that's something else that Kyle learned from his brother. Worshiping his girlfriend.

Lyla and Brandon were the 'it' couple, I guess you could say. She was the girl every girl wanted to be and he was the guy every girl wanted to date. In every teenage girls eyes she was the luckiest girl in the world as well as in her own eyes.

She's in Hufflepuff and she's never had another boyfriend since. Its sad to think about but I guess it would be safe to say that Brandon Hastings was irreplaceable. And he would never be forgotten.

My mom on the other hand, her death was a lot more sudden. She died in a car accident. We didn't even get a chance to say goodbye. By the time we made it to the hospital she was gone. My dad was a mess but he was strong for us. I remember Sean holding me and just rocking me back and fourth. We were both just crying and crying for what felt like hours…days. I was fourteen at the time and he was twenty. Him and Josh had come home from college for the summer; Josh is our neighbor and Sean's best friend.

I met Matt the next day. I don't remember why we had to go back to the hospital but we did. I knew I had seen him around school so I sat next to him. We just started talking and I told him about my mom and he told me he was sorry and why he was there. After that we just sort of clicked and by the end of fourth year, we were dating.

So back to the matter at hand, when did I become unhappy with Matt?

That summer after fourth year was great. We hung out almost everyday and Molly and me sort of became friends and Kyle was really nice. I thought that my life was finally good again.

And then fifth year came. The beginning was great. I was still over the moon with our relationship and Matt treated me like I was a princess. He honestly is a great guy. He's just lost himself a little bit. I think the middle of fifth year is actually where our relationship started to go downhill. You want to guess why? If you guessed Justin then you would be right.

I remember sitting at the Gryffindor table for lunch. Me, Ryan, Molly, Kim, and Kyle were talking about prostitutes. Don't ask why because I don't remember. But I do remember Kyle looking away from our conversation and suddenly becoming so angry. Kim, Molly, Ryan, and me were looking at him like he was crazy.

"Hey, babe, are you alright?" Molly had asked him.

"I just really don't like him is all," he had replied. And that's when I noticed. Matt had walked into the Great Hall. With Justin. And they were laughing about something together. And I swear, in that moment, I felt my heart break a little bit.

I never said anything to Matt about it. Mine and Justin's past I mean. But he knew. I know he knew. Everyone did. And still they hung out, all the time. We all hated Justin at first but slowly things started to change. Like one day I walked to our spot at the Gryffindor table and for some reason Ryan wasn't there. And it was weird because him and Matt had always been really close, they were cousins. He never sat with us again. It was never spoken out loud but we all knew why. Justin never did like him so Matt got rid of him. Poor Ryan was never the same after that. He was probably stoked when him and Kyle were partnered together for that muggle studies project.

But after Ryan was gone we were all kind of scared. Scared that one of us would be the next one to go. But that never happened. Instead Kim and Justin became practically inseparable. And suddenly it was like them three against us three. Matt and Justin and Kim against Kyle and Molly and Me. That's how it's been ever since.

"I'm sorry," Sirius said and I was suddenly reminded of where I was, I had completely spaced out, "You don't have to answer that if you don't want to."

I shook my head, "Don't be sorry, you just caught me off guard is all. I had to think about it for a minute."

"Oh, okay," he said, but didn't push for an answer. See that's what I love about Sirius, he knows when to drop a subject. But I didn't really mind answering his question.

"The answers no by the way," I told him and he turned his head toward me so quickly that I wouldn't have been surprised if it snapped off, "I'm not happy with him, not at all, and I haven't been for a while."

"That's awesome!" He exclaimed, then immediately followed with, "I mean that's terrible… sorry." I had to try really hard not to smile.

"Its fine," I replied with a shrug.

Sirius nodded and let out a relieved sigh, "Well, Why?"

I furrowed my eyebrows, "Why what?"

"Why aren't you, you know, happy with Matt?" He asked.

I shook my head and sighed, "I don't know."

"Come on, there's got to be a reason," and he was right. There is a reason.

I closed my eyes and just decided to let it all out, to finally tell someone about how I feel. "Well, I guess its just, I don't know…I just, I feel like… and I don't even know if this makes sense but… I feel like Matt doesn't see me anymore, and when he does see me it's only because he's angry about something." I paused to look at Sirius for a second and he seemed to actually be listening, "You know, I cant remember the last time we laughed together or, and I know this is going to sound dumb but, I cant remember the last time we just sat quietly together…alone. Is it weird that I would like to just sit with him? You know, be a couple. But every time I try he's never here. It seems like there's always something or somebody more important. And I have always been so naïve so I just thought that maybe that was normal. But then I see Molly and Kyle and they seem to have this great relationship, and at times I cant even stand to be around them because…that's all I want. And that's a really bittersweet feeling. Knowing that that kind of love is out there but also knowing that I don't have it. It's just not fair. I'm tired of feeling bad. Id rather feel nothing." I finished. Once again I turned to Sirius and he was looking at me too and suddenly I was embarrassed. I turned away and put my face in my hands. I can't believe I actually just said all that. He probably thinks I'm a weirdo now. Why was I so stupid around him?

Gently he pulled my hands away from my face and spun my head so I was facing him and said, "You'll get it someday," I looked at him, confused about what he was saying.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"You said it sucks to know that that kind of love is out there but that you don't have it. Well, I'm saying, you'll get it someday," He said with a small smile. I could feel my heart beating faster and faster but I tried not to look into what he said too much. I mean, I would like to think that he was implying something about us but I don't want to embarrass myself by voicing that thought and end up being wrong.

"Yeah, well I'm not going to hold my breath," I said, trying to act nonchalant but I'm pretty sure I'm just starting to sound depressing now. Great. Totally not what I was going for.

"Why not, it could be closer than you think," Well I hope it's close. And by close I mean I hope its sitting right next to me and goes by the name of Sirius. But still, I could be wrong. I can't just assume that that's what he's hinting at. Come on Devyn, play it cool…play it cool.

"I don't know," I shrugged nonchalantly. Score. "I just don't see that happening for me,"

Sirius furrowed his eyebrows, "Why not?" he asked.

"I just feel kind of…empty," I said then mentally slapped myself. Pep talk time. You're supposed to be acting cool Devyn, not having a heart to heart. Pick up your game. You can do it. Be cool.

"Well you don't deserve to feel empty," he said back and I smiled.

"And what do I deserve Mr. Black?" I asked, excited to hear his answer.

He looked at me for a few moments before speaking silently, "You deserve to be… worshiped."

I stared at him and he stared back and we just sat there. Alone. Comfortably. Quietly. And suddenly I realized, I have been working so hard to have this with Matt but when it came to Sirius it was easy. Simple. Natural. It almost seemed like for a moment the world was quiet and it was just us and nobody else even dared to ruin it. I selfishly let the silence stretch out a few moments longer before I spoke softly, "You really think so," I asked, almost scared to hear his response.

"Yeah, I really do," He said back without a hint of hesitation.

"You know what?" I said.

"What?" He asked.

"You're probably the nicest person that I've ever met and I'm really glad to know you," I said quickly and in one breath. I was afraid that if I didn't get it all out at once I would get to nervous to finish.

Sirius smiled brightly, "Is that right?"

His smile was infectious and I suddenly found myself smiling back, all my nervousness slipping away, "Yup," I said with a nod of my head and then, feeling slightly courageous, added, "so please don't ever leave me."

Sirius looked surprised by my comment but continued smiling nonetheless, "That would never even cross my mind."

I bumped my shoulder against his in a playful way and replied with a simple, "Good."

"Thanks by the way," He said, while bumping me back.

"Your welcome."

We were once again sitting in silence before I saw something that surprised me. Kyle was walking towards us. But that's not what surprised me. It was who he was with. Ryan. And it almost broke my heart to see how happy he looked in that moment. After so much time of anger and sadness and bitterness, one conversation with Kyle and he's himself again. He's smiling and happy, and I feel guilty for not wanting to be his partner when Professor Adams originally proposed for us to be. On the other hand, Sirius and me never would have met, but still, it's heart breaking to actually come to term with the fact that this kid was lonely and miserable and it was all our fault. He was part of the group and we cut him out because someone we hated decided that we had to. What kind of person does that? What kind of person let's that happen?

Kyle and Ryan finally reached us with Molly and Peyton trailing closely behind, "Hey Dev," Kyle said as he sat on the log that was placed in front of where Sirius and I were sitting. Molly waved and sat on the ground between Kyle's legs. Peyton also said hello and sat beside them.

"Hey guys," I replied.

Ryan had been staring at the ground since he walked up, it almost seemed like he was debating on whether or not he should say hello to me. I decided to make that internal battle easier and make the first move, "Hey Ryan," I said.

He looked up hesitantly, as if he wasn't really sure if I had said anything. I smiled and he smiled back, he looked excited as he said, "Hey! How's… umm… How's life?"

And that's when it hit me. It's been so long since I've even spoken to Ryan that the only question he can ask me is how's life. How broad is that? That's the question you ask somebody when you literally know nothing about them. And that's a sad thought. And suddenly the guilt overpowered me and I couldn't take it anymore. I flung myself at Ryan and hugged him until even just a little bit of the guilt went away. That was really out of character for me because I knew an awkward situation was going to follow that and I always try to avoid that but I couldn't help it.

"I'm so sorry Ryan," I whispered just loud enough for him to hear.

He shook his head slightly and said, "Don't even worry about it, don't even worry about it."

I stepped away from him and sat back down, feeling only slightly better about myself, "Anyways," I said with a heavy sigh, "How's life? Umm… I have a feeling it's about to get a whole lot better. How's yours Ryan?"

"Same," he replied with a smile and suddenly we were all smiling. And conversation started and we were all laughing. Having a good time. And it was almost like nothing changed. Almost. And only 'Almost' because I knew that in the back of my mind I would always remember the way I treated Ryan and the way I allowed Justin to push us around. I didn't even try to stop him. And I know Ryan will always remember the way it felt to be pushed away by the people he thought he could trust the most. Almost like we didn't even care.

But now, here we were. All of us, minus Matt for now, together. And happy. It felt like one of those moments where you look around and you see all the people you love and you wish you had a picture of this. Because you want to remember how it feels, its little moments like this that in the end you want to look back on, remember, and realize that you did have a great life, and you did mean something. To someone. Somewhere. At some point. Its moments like this that you pray will live on forever.

"I'm going to go get a drink, anyone want anything?" Sirius said. We all nodded our heads. As he walked away I smiled after him, hoping that he was right about me someday having what Kyle and Molly had, and also hoping that he would play a huge role in that.

"So," Kyle said as I pulled my eyes away from Sirius, "You two looked pretty cozy when we walked up… What's going on there?" he asked.

My face turned a light shade of red and I shrugged, "Nothing."

"Wait," Peyton said with one of her hands held up, "Do you and Sirius have a thing?"

I was about to answer her but Molly beat me to it, "It's adorable isn't it!" She said enthusiastically to Peyton, "I'm totally rooting for them! Oh! They need a couple name!"

"Hold up a second," Ryan said then aimed a question towards me, "Did you and Matt break up? How did I not hear about that."

"Umm," I said nervously, "You didn't hear about it because it hasn't really happened yet," I explained.

"Oh," He almost seemed upset about that, "Well, Sirius seems like a good guy."

"Yes, he does," Molly said, "Which brings us back to what I was saying before. They need a couple name!"

"Were not even a couple Molly," I reminded her.

"If you're going to be a downer then we here by exile you from the conversation," Kyle said in an official kind of voice.

"You can't exile me from the conversation! I'm the conversation!" I exclaimed but they wouldn't hear it.

"Did you hear something babe?" Molly asked Kyle with a hand wrapped around her ear as if she was trying to hear something from far away.

Kyle copied her hand movements and shook his head, "No honey, I don't think I do…"

"Oh, come on guys, really?" I complained.

"Wait there it goes again!" Molly said in an urgent voice.

"I hear it too!" Ryan said and I glared at him.

"Not you too Ryan," I warned but he just ignored me.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Peyton added, "It sounds a lot like… like…" she started to say but allowed Kyle to finish.

"Like the sound of someone who's been exiled from the conversation!" He said and zeroed his eyes in on me. Everyone laughed, including me.

"Zinger!" Molly and Peyton yelled at the same time, leading to them giving each other a high five.

"Alright, where were we," Kyle said while tapping his chin.

"Couple names," Ryan reminded him.

"Yes, thank you for that Ryan," Kyle said, "Couple names… since Ryan remembered he gets to put the first suggestion in the hat."

"What hat?" Peyton asked in confusion.

Kyle smiled, "The metaphorical hat that we don't really have."

Peyton nodded, "Oh I see."

"Yeah, anyways," Molly interrupted, "What's your pick Ryan?"

Ryan scratched his head and thought for a moment, "How about…Sirvyn?"

"Yuck," Molly said.

"Peyton's turn," Kyle said.

"Umm… I don't know, Sirievynus?" She suggested with a shrug.

Kyle scoffed while Molly said, "God, you guys really suck at this!"

"Alright, if you're so great then you guys pick one," Peyton defended herself and Ryan.

"Fine, we will, just sit back and watch the masters at work," Kyle said, "I go first, how about…. Sirevyn?" he asked, aiming his question toward Molly.

"We can put that one on the back burner for now," She said, "Let me think of one though… umm… it could be, umm… how ab-… Oh! I know, Sevyn."

Kyle looked at her with his eyebrows furrowed, "Seven what?" he asked.

"No, not seven," she said, "You know, like 'Sirius' 'Devyn'… Sevyn."

"Umm," Kyle said, "I don't think so."

"What!" she exclaimed, "why not, it sounds great!"

"No Molly," Kyle said carefully, "That sounds dumb."

"Yeah!" She said angrily, "Well so does Sirevyn!"

Kyle scoffed, "Sirevyn is an awesome couple name!"

Molly laughed, "Yeah, in what world Kyle?"

Kyle glared, "Well at least mine wasn't a number!"

"At least mine didn't sound like some kind of disease," She retorted.

"Sirevyn does not sound like a disease!" he shouted. It was kind of funny to watch them argue about something as stupid as this because if there's one thing you realize about Kyle and Molly it's that they never fight.

"Yeah," Molly yelled back, "It totally does."

"Fine," Kyle said trying to make his voice sound like he didn't care.

"Fine," Molly repeated.

"Whatever," Kyle said, and brought his arms away from being wrapped around the front of her waist to cross them over his chest.

"Whatever," Molly said and scooted out of between his legs.

A couple seconds went by like that before Kyle said, "I'm sorry."

Molly smiled in relief and sat herself back down where she was before, "Me too!"

"Friends?" He asked as he inched his face closer.

"Always," She tilted her head backwards and kissed him softly. My face broke out into a smile and I just knew that I would have that someday. I never used to think I would but now I do… and I can't wait till that happens. Because that will be a great day.

"Oh, I have one!" Molly pulled back to say.

"Go for it," Kyle said with a smile.

"Devius!" Molly suggested hopefully.

Kyle nodded excitedly, "That's perfect babe!"

"Devius it is then," Peyton said with a laugh.

"Since the conversation is concluded I, Ryan Hyslope, here by reinstate Devyn Forest into the conversation." Ryan said with authority.

"Yay," I said with fake enthusiasm

"Wow Ryan," Kyle said, "very official, I liked that, welcome to the group… or more like, welcome back to the group."

Ryan smiled, "Almost feels like I never left."

"Isn't that the truth," Molly said. And all I could think was, if only it was the truth.

"I come bearing drinks!" A voice from above us said and we all looked up to see Sirius standing above us, struggling to carry all the cups in his arms. I immediately jumped up and started to help.

"You do know you could have used your wand to levitate those, don't you?" Molly asked as I handed her one of the cups, "But, still, thank you."

"Yeah," Sirius said as he took a sip of his firewhiskey, "But I take pride in knowing that I can do things the muggle way too."

I smiled as we sat back down, far closer than we were before. He switched his drink from his left hand to his right so that he could wrap his arm around my wait, and pulled me closer. As conversation continued on as it did before Sirius left, I went back to thinking.

Sirius and Devyn. Devyn and Sirius. Devius. I would never admit this to Kyle and Molly but it actually does have a nice ring to it. A great ring actually. And it was right there that I decided… I'm going to make this work. I'm going to end things with Matt and then Sirius and me are going to be happy. For a long time. And Matt will understand. Because he's ready for this too.

"What's going on here?" A new voice said, once again forcing me out of my thoughts. I looked up and froze. You know that saying, speak of the devil and he shall appear. Yup, well that's true.

My eyes widened and I sprung up and out of Sirius' arms as if he was on fire. Only three words came to mind as I stood there staring at the man who was most definitely mentally throwing flaming darts at Sirius head.

"Matt, you're here."

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**A/N: Dont hate me! I know it's been forever and this is only half of the chapter but i'm sorry. I swear it will never take me this long to update again and as for the whole 'only half of the chapter thing' I just couldn't wait to update any longer so I just went a head and made two parts for this one.**

**Anyways, I wanted to dedicate this chapter to one of my reviewers, Forever Siriusly Sirius, because they have reviewed on every chapter and came up with the couple name Devius, so I cant take any credit for that. So, Forever Siriusly Sirius, thank you. I really appreciate your reviews.**

**And as for anyone else who will review or has reviewed thank you a lot because that really encourages me to keep writing. You guys really make me smile when I read your reviews. And remember ************ if you have any ideas, suggestions, or complaints i will totally listen. I'm totally open to writing new people into this story if you have any ideas or just want your own character in here. I'm also open to plot ideas. Thanks for reading!**

**************~ Iris Stone**


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